FRIDAY 6 APRIL 2018 COMPLETEMUSICUPDATE.COM
TODAY'S TOP STORY: The big copyright dispute between the American record industry and internet service provider Grande Communications will proceed as planned after a judge refused to dismiss the case. Though neither side are that happy with the new ruling... [READ MORE]
Available to premium subscribers, CMU Trends digs deeper into the inner workings of the music business, explaining how things work and reviewing all the recent trends.
   
SPOTIFY - PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE
As Spotify finally lists on the New York Stock Exchange, CMU Trends reviews Spotify's business to date, considers what its SEC filing might tell us about its current direction, and speculates what a Spotify of the future might look like. [READ MORE]
   
CHINA, AI AND MUSIC EDUCATION - SETTING THE AGENDA
As CMU Insights publishes agendas for each of the conferences that it will present at The Great Escape later this year, CMU Trends outlines the background to each theme being explored: music education, AI and the Chinese music market. [READ MORE]
   
AI - THE NEXT REVOLUTION IN MUSIC?
Midem recently published a brand new white paper from our consultancy unit CMU Insights reviewing the potential impact various AI technologies will have on the music industry in the next decade. CMU Trends presents some highlights. [READ MORE]
TOP STORIES Record industry's copyright battle with American ISP allowed to continue
READ IN THIS EMAIL | READ ON THE WEBSITE
LEGAL The Commodores sue ex-Commodore over The Commodores trademark
READ IN THIS EMAIL | READ ON THE WEBSITE
LABELS & PUBLISHERS BPI sales certificates to be BRITs branded
READ IN THIS EMAIL | READ ON THE WEBSITE
ENTERTAINMENT RETAIL HMV CEO Ian Topping to step down
READ IN THIS EMAIL | READ ON THE WEBSITE
LIVE BUSINESS K2 acquires EGO
READ IN THIS EMAIL | READ ON THE WEBSITE
ARTIST NEWS Skepta formally named Chief in Nigeria
READ IN THIS EMAIL | READ ON THE WEBSITE
RELEASES Arctic Monkeys announce new album, Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino
Bob Dylan and Kesha contribute to EP celebrating marriage equality
READ IN THIS EMAIL | READ ON THE WEBSITE
ONE LINERS Sound Diplomacy, Calvin Harris, Mixcloud, more
READ IN THIS EMAIL | READ ON THE WEBSITE
AND FINALLY... Beef Of The Week #398: Louis Cut v Gravity
READ IN THIS EMAIL | READ ON THE WEBSITE
Check out all the latest classified ads with CMU Classifieds. To advertise here email advertising@unlimitedmedia.co.uk or call 020 7099 0906.
   
COOKING VINYL - OFFICE SPACE TO RENT (WEST LONDON)
Cooking Vinyl is pleased to offer a newly refurbished office space in Acton, West London. Ideal to share with other likeminded creatives in a hot desk environment, or alternatively to rent the space as a whole, comfortably fitting 30+ desks.

For more information and to apply click here.
Check out all the latest job opportunities with CMU Jobs. To advertise your job opportunities here email advertising@unlimitedmedia.co.uk or call 020 7099 0906.
   
CREAM - MARKETING EXECUTIVE (LIVERPOOL)
Joining Cream's small and busy marketing and PR team, the candidate will be required to support the planning, delivery and analysis of marketing campaigns immediately, with quick progression to managing smaller campaigns.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
VISION NINE - DIGITAL MARKETING ASSISTANT (SIX WEEKS) (LONDON)
Vision Nine is looking for a bright and enthusiastic Digital Marketing Assistant to help support the Marketing team in the delivery of website and email for its NASS and Boardmasters festivals.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
AGILE AGEING ALLIANCE - EDITOR (LOCATION FLEXIBLE)
We are looking for a part-time Editor to edit and manage the website and social media of the Agile Ageing Alliance, a campaigning social business supported by CMU publisher 3CM UnLimited.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
INTERMUSICA - ADMINISTRATOR, FILM & MULTIMEDIA IN PERFORMANCE (LONDON)
Intermusica is seeking a highly motivated and imaginative individual to support the Film & Multimedia in Performance area of Intermusica and its increasing number of artists and projects.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
NUCLEAR BLAST - PRESS OFFICER (LONDON)
Rock/metal label Nuclear Blast is looking for a dynamic and creative Press Officer to handle PR for its rapidly diversifying roster.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
KOBALT MUSIC GROUP - CLIENT MANAGER (LONDON)
Kobalt's Client Manager will be the first point of call for a roster of high-profile clients and responsible for developing and maintaining client relationships and delivering a first-class experience.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
KOBALT MUSIC GROUP - CLIENT MANAGER (LONDON)
Kobalt's Client Manager will be the first point of call for a roster of high-profile clients and responsible for developing and maintaining client relationships and delivering a first-class experience.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
FABRIC LONDON - SENIOR MARKETING & PROMOTIONS MANAGER (LONDON)
Fabric London is looking for a savvy and experienced marketing person with an expert touch on digital.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
FABRIC LONDON - MARKETING & PROMOTIONS OFFICER (LONDON)
Fabric London is looking for someone to join its marketing team in a supportive role to assist on the implementation of our promotional campaigns.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
BPI - TECHNICAL EXECUTIVE (LONDON)
BPI is creating a new role of Technical Executive to further enhance the technical and forensic capabilities within the BPI Content Protection team.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
BPI - DATA ANALYST & INSIGHTS MANAGER (LONDON)
The BPI is looking for a Data Analyst & Insights Manager to be responsible for monitoring and identifying anti-piracy trends and reporting these back to the company to help inform the team’s wider strategy.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
KALEIDOVISION/MUSIC CONCIERGE - PLAYLIST DESIGNER (HERTFORD)
Kaleidovision's specialist music consultancy service is looking for someone to join our creative team in a senior capacity, curating brand sounds, evolving playlist design, and overseeing the operations of a busy department.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
KILIMANJARO LIVE - PAID INTERNSHIP (LONDON)
Kilimanjaro Live are offering a year-long internship programmes with a view to help individuals establish a career in within the marketing element of the live music industry.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
KILIMANJARO LIVE - ONLINE MARKETING CO-ORDINATOR (LONDON)
Kilimanjaro Live seeks an Online Marketing Co-ordinator to administer and maximise marketing opportunities.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
DISPERSION PR - DIGITAL MARKETING EXECUTIVE (STAINES)
Dispersion PR is looking for a Digital Marketing Executive to further develop our digital services portfolio.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
ASSOCIATION OF INDEPENDENT MUSIC - EVENTS MANAGER (LONDON)
This is an exciting opportunity to join a small, busy and sociable team as the AIM as an Events Manager, joining our existing events management team.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
PROPER MUSIC DISTRIBUTION - FINANCIAL CONTROLLER (DARTFORD)
Proper Music Distribution is seeking a Financial Controller to act as the focal point for the management accounting function.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
NONCLASSICAL - LABEL & ARTIST DEVELOPEMENT MANAGER (LONDON)
An exciting opportunity has arisen to join NC’s team in as Label & Artist Development Manager.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
NONCLASSICAL - MARKETING & COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER (LONDON)
An exciting opportunity has arisen to join NC’s team in a Marketing & Communications role.

For more information and to apply click here.
CMU Insights will present three full-day confernces as part of The Great Escape's convention programme this May. Get your tickets here.
   
CMU INSIGHTS PRESENTS THE EDUCATION CONFERENCE
Wednesday 16 May | Dukes at Komedia, Brighton
This full-day conference will put the spotlight on music education, and discuss how business and entrepreneurial skills could and should be integrated into the music curriculum. [READ MORE]
   
CMU INSIGHTS PRESENTS THE AI CONFERENCE
Thursday 17 May | Dukes at Komedia, Brighton
This full-day conference will look at how big data and AI will impact on music, including audio-recognition, fan-messaging, data-driven recommendations and music composition tools. [READ MORE]
   
CMU INSIGHTS PRESENTS THE CHINA CONFERENCE
Friday 18 May | Dukes at Komedia, Brighton
The full day conference will provide a beginner's guide to the Chinese music market, looking at copyright, streaming services, media and social media, and the touring circuit. [READ MORE]

Record industry's copyright battle with American ISP allowed to continue
The big copyright dispute between the American record industry and internet service provider Grande Communications will proceed as planned after a judge refused to dismiss the case. Though neither side are that happy with the new ruling.

This is the latest case Stateside testing the limits of that pesky safe harbour that the record labels love so much. With close parallels to the big BMG v Cox Communications legal battle, the Recording Industry Association Of America says that Grande has failed to deal with repeat copyright infringers among its customer base.

The record companies argue that this failure means that the internet company should no longer qualify for safe harbour protection under US copyright law. Which means it could be held liable for the copyright infringement of its customers.

More precisely, it should be liable for both contributory and vicarious infringement, reckons the RIAA. And not only should Grande be held liable for the actions of its copyright infringing customers, so should its parent company. But the judge hearing the case, Lee Yeakel, doesn't agree with all of that.

Endorsing an earlier recommendation made by a magistrate judge last month, he says that the parent company shouldn't be a defendant in this case, and that only claims of contributory infringement should be fully considered by the court, the vicarious infringement claim being dropped from the proceedings.

Although Yeakel has cut the litigation down a little, the core case will now proceed. Grande wanted the whole case dismissed, basically on the grounds that the RIAA accuses it of ignoring repeat infringement notifications against certain Grande customers from anti-piracy agency Rightscorp. Those notifications constitute allegations of piracy rather than evidence, the ISP argues, so it shouldn't have been obliged to act on them.

That argument was insufficient to have the case dismissed, reckoned Yeakel, who endorsed the earlier magistrate judge recommendation that, although this is "not yet a well-defined area of the law ... the court is persuaded that [record industry] has pled a plausible claim of [contributory] infringement based on Grande's alleged failure to act when presented with evidence of ongoing, pervasive infringement by its subscribers".

So, let the litigation continue, says Yeakel. BMG's victory in its legal action against Cox, which motivated this case, was overturned in February, of course. Although on a technicality. And the RIAA reckons that remarks made by the judge who overturned that ruling actually help it in its case against Grande.

It wrote in a recent legal filing that that ruling "affirmed the holdings ... that [we] rely on here, and expressly rejected the central arguments [Grande] advance in their motions to dismiss".

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE BULLETIN

The Commodores sue ex-Commodore over The Commodores trademark
Commodores Entertainment Corp, the business behind the current incarnation of The Commodores, has asked a court in Florida to consider sanctioning a founder member of the group as part of a long-running trademark dispute.

One founder member, William King, is part of the current line-up of The Commodores. The dispute is with another founder member, Thomas McClary, who is accused of infringing the group's trademark and violating a 2016 court order by staging shows under the name 'The Commodores Experience featuring Thomas McClary'.

According to Law 360, CEC first sued McClary over his use of the Commodores brand at his then current shows back in 2014. Two years later a court banned McClary from using the Commodores trademark which, it ruled, belonged to CEC.

There was then another spat over whether that injunction also banned McClary from employing the get-around of billing himself as "Commodores' founder Thomas McClary". A judge concluded that doing so would likely confuse fans as to whether they were buying tickets for a Commodores show or a McClary solo show.

In the latest action filed this week, CEC says that McClary has been using the Commodores name on his social channels and in promotions for upcoming music festival appearances.

CEC said in its court filing: "Mr McClary calling his band 'The Commodores Experience', 'Commodores' Experience' or 'Commodore's Experience' is likely to cause additional consumer confusion, is not historically accurate and is not using CEC's marks in fair use".

The band asked the court that it order McClary to demonstrate why he should not be held in contempt of the 2016 injunction and therefore sanctioned.

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE BULLETIN

BPI sales certificates to be BRITs branded
The weekly silver, gold and platinum record certifications in the UK issued by record label trade group the BPI will now be issued under the BRITs brand.

If you're thinking that's just a little bit of semantics, given the BPI owns and produces the BRIT Awards, well, you'd be right. But think about the marketing, people!

The shift means that the weekly consumption achievements for tracks and albums will be promoted through the BRITs' social channels. The aim being to give said awards a higher profile, while providing handy content to populate BRITs feeds away from the main awards shows.

Says BPI boss Geoff Taylor: "Given that The BRITs are the UK's biggest platform for artistic achievement, with millions of fans at home and around the world, it makes sense for the BPI to bring the official sales awards under the BRITs banner".

Among the first artists to be awarded certifications bearing the BRITs logo will be Stormzy, Camila Cabello, George Ezra and The Weeknd.

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE BULLETIN

HMV CEO Ian Topping to step down
HMV CEO Ian Topping is to step down from the role later this year. He took up the position in 2013, when the entertainment retailer was acquired by Hilco after the somewhat dramatic collapse of the old HMV plc business.

According to a statement from Hilco, Topping is leaving to focus on "a variety of part time challenges", but will stay on at HMV for the next six months in order to ensure a smooth transition.

Hilco's Executive Chair Paul McGowan says: "We have been pleased with our investment in HMV and the ability of the management team to deliver strong performances against a very challenging market backdrop. We would like to thank Ian Topping for the leading role he has played in implementing this process over the last five years".

As Topping's planned departure was announced, so too were a number of promotions. Retail Director Neil Taylor becomes Managing Director with immediate effect. Meanwhile, Rudy Osorio becomes Commercial Director and Patrizia Leighton moves up to Marketing Director.

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE BULLETIN

K2 acquires EGO
Booking agency K2 has announced the acquisition of another rival, this time the EGO Agency.

EGO founder Jim Morewood will move to K2 to become Senior Booking Agent there. His colleague Yerry Stetter will also move over, as will the entire EGO roster of artists, which includes Fear Factory, HIM and Meshuggah.

"Yerry and I are delighted to be joining the formidable team at K2", says Morewood. "We look forward to an exciting future with John [Jackson, K2 founder], having previously worked with him at the now legendary Helter Skelter Agency".

Jackson adds: "I am delighted to be working with Jim again and we all look forward to welcoming Yerry to K2. Their combined skills will further enhance the strengths of K2 as the leading international hard rock booking agency".

The acquisition of EGO, or the Eccentric Gent Organisation, follows last year's purchase of Factory Music, which similarly saw a shift of staff and roster over to K2.

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE BULLETIN

Vigsy's Club Tip: 25 Years Of Jungle Mania at Electric Brixton
A whole 25 years after it first appeared on the club scene, the Jungle Mania night appears for the first of four events celebrating that milestone tomorrow night. After this one in Brixton, there are shows planned in Brighton, Southampton and Bristol over the coming months.

There's a huge array of acts on offer, including Hype, DJ Rap, Dillinja and a live set from the Ragga Twins. V Records also has a showcase featuring Bryan Gee and Jumping Jack Frost. Elsewhere, Ray Keith and Nicky Blackmarket will also be in effect, helping to ensure you get that 'back in the day' feeling.

Saturday 7 Apr, Electric Brixton, Town Hall Parade, Brixton, London, SW2 1RJ, 11pm-7am, £24. More info here.

Skepta formally named Chief in Nigeria
Skepta has been made a chief in his parents' home state of Ogun, Nigeria. The award followed a performance by the rapper in Lagos.

After being named Chief Entertainer of Odo Aje, Skepta posted on Instagram: "Thank you to the Baale, Chiefs of Odo Aje and King for presenting me with my Chieftaincy title today. I am honoured and will continue to put time and love into Nigeria, especially the community of Odo Aje".

The rapper's manager Grace Ladoja also posted an image of him with his chieftain credentials congratulating him on the accolade.

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE BULLETIN

Arctic Monkeys announce new album, Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino
Following months of rumours and one chip shop confirmation, Arctic Monkeys have announced that they will release their sixth album, 'Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino', on 11 May.

Co-produced by James Ford and frontman Alex Turner, the record is the band's first since 2013's 'AM'. It was recorded in Los Angeles, Paris and London. I can't really tell you much more than that, other than that my spell checker is pretty pissed off with that title.

There's shit all music for me to share with you either, other than a bit that appears in a 41 second trailer that's been released. Presumably there will be some music to share at some point. But it's always possible that that 41 seconds is the entire output of their three city recording sessions. Always keeping you guessing, those Monkeys.

Anyway, here's that trailer.

--------------------------------------------------

Bob Dylan and Kesha contribute to EP celebrating marriage equality
Bob Dylan, St Vincent, Kesha and Kele Okereke are among the artists who have contributed to a new EP, 'Universal Love', celebrating marriage equality. Funded by MGM Resorts International and released by Sony Music, the EP updates a number of popular songs with a view to making them available to same-sex couples for their weddings.

Speaking to the New York Times, 'Universal Love' co-producer Tom Murphy says: "If you look at the history of pop music, love songs have predominantly come from one heterosexual perspective. If we view music as something that brings people together, shouldn't these popular songs be open to everyone?"

For his contribution, Bob Dylan offers a recording of 1929 song 'She's Funny That Way', renamed 'He's Funny That Way'. St Vincent, meanwhile, covers The Crystal's 'And Then He Kissed Me' as 'And Then She Kissed Me', and Kesha performs Janis Joplin's 'I Need A Man To Love' as 'I Need A Woman To Love'.

Listen to the EP on Spotify here.

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE BULLETIN

Sound Diplomacy, Calvin Harris, Mixcloud, more

Other notable announcements and developments today...

• You can now get a daily CMU news summary via our Messenger bot. Click here to get started.

• Music consultancy Sound Diplomacy is fast approaching its fifth anniversary, and to mark that occasion and the work it has done during that time on evolving and promoting the music cities concept, it has just posted a video called 'Your Guide To Becoming A Music City'.

• Coheed & Cambria have signed a new contract with Roadrunner Records. A new album is expected later this year. Here's a video to announce the deal.

• Calvin Harris has released a new collaboration with Dua Lipa, 'One Kiss'.

• Sophie has released the video for recent single 'Faceshopping'.

• TT - aka Warpaint's Theresa Wayman - has released another track from her upcoming debut solo album 'Lovelaws'. Here's 'I've Been Fine'.

• Sampa The Great has released her first music video, adding visuals to 'Black Girl Magik' from her 'Birds And The BEE9' album.

• Rich Brian has released new track, 'Watch Out!'

• Brazilian Girls have released new track 'Karaköy'. Their new album 'Let's Make Love' is out next week.

• Kristen Hersh has announced UK tour dates to follow her appearance at Robert Smith's Meltdown Festival on 21 Jun. She's also released new song 'LAX', which will appear on upcoming album 'Possible Dust Clouds'.

• Mixcloud has opened submissions for its annual Online Radio Awards. You have until 26 Apr to make your nominations at www.mora.fm. Shortlists will be announced on 10 May.

• Check out our weekly Spotify playlist of new music featured in the CMU Daily - updated every Friday.

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE BULLETIN

Beef Of The Week #398: Louis Cut v Gravity
Recently we discussed here why you should never ever ask anyone for an autograph. This week we add to that seeking handshakes. Not just because it's weird and pointless, but also because it's dangerous. You could end up with six tonnes of DJ equipment raining down on your head. (Note: I don't know how much DJ equipment weighs. Or have any concept of what a tonne is like.)

Portuguese DJ Louis Cut appeared at Australia's Rabbits Eat Lettuce festival over the Easter weekend. One of the topped billed acts, his set was clearly highly anticipated, and for 26 minutes and nine seconds he delivered the goods. Until proceedings were brought to an abrupt halt by a fan. And some gravity. Watch what happened here.

Despite the replays from multiple angles, the incident of concern here all happens fairly quickly. I think, therefore, you will all agree that it's worth me bulking out the word count of this Beef Of The Week with a forensic step-by-step analysis of what happened. You never know, perhaps then we can work out what went wrong and where improvements can be made.

My analysis begins not in the video, but on the Rabbits Eat Lettuce website.

"Rabbits Eat Lettuce is a place of freedom, love and dance music", it states. "Come and camp in a beautiful natural environment and form a community of like-minded souls who want to escape the hustle and bustle of the city life. Rabbits Eat Lettuce lets us be human again. We can dissolve the social barriers and dance together".

I'm not saying that the author of this paragraph is wholly to blame for what happened during Louis Cut's set last weekend, but I do think it would be entirely reasonable if they lost this and all future writing jobs. For the safety of humanity. They should probably lose a few nights to sleeplessness as well, because these words nearly got a man killed.

Rabbits Eat Lettuce may well be a place of dance music, but I think we can leave the freedom and love outside next time, thank you very much.

"Rabbits Eat Lettuce lets us be human again", it says. Very dangerous words. Words that might convince humans that the things they do in their day-to-day lives are not in fact human. Despite the fact that, as humans, anything we do is - by its very nature - a 'human' thing to do. I just put one arm in the air for no reason. It was so human.

But by telling people that the things they do in "the hustle and bustle of the city life" aren't normal or valuable, you risk making them think that they can just do whatever they want once they are away from said city life and are living within the confines of your festival site.

Worst of all, though, is the final sentence. "We can dissolve the social barriers and dance together". Oh, really? Dissolve social barriers like the one that exists between a DJ and their audience? Let's see how that turns out.

Onto the video now. It's only brief, but there's a lot to examine. Let's break this down second-by-second.

00:00:00 - We see our DJ, Mr Louis Cut. In many ways this story is about him. But it's also about us. Don't forget that.

00:00:01 - A man appears from behind Louis Cut. "Fuck yeah, dude. You are killing it, man", he says. "Thank you so much, dude".

The fact that this man is on the stage unchallenged suggests that he is involved with the event. The sincere "thank you" also suggests an involvement beyond merely enjoying the music. He is thankful that by "killing it" Louis Cut is ensuring that this remains a successful event. The event being a success may be important to this man's financial security, but that's not something we are able to tell from this video alone.

During this exchange, the two men appear to connect via up to two different forms of handshake (the second is obscured and may not actually have happened). It is possible that this jovial exchange played at least a small role in influencing what happens next.

00:00:09 - Another man appears. Not already on the stage like the other guy, this man seems to leap on to the front of the staging just as Louis Cut returns to the job in hand (DJing) after his previous exchange. This man is wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses with side shields for added protection (although they may be worn for more aesthetic reasons, it is unclear), and he has blue paint crudely daubed on his face.

00:00:10 - The man smiles and reaches out his right hand, elbow raised to a level that signifies a request for an informal handshake. He holds his upper and lower arm and hand in a manner that implies confidence in both himself and that the handshake will be reciprocated. It may well be a move he learned in the hustle and bustle of the city life. Who knows?

Louis Cut looks up, initially appearing surprised by the man's presence, but instinctually accepts the handshake and fixes the man with a look that suggests he is quite used to shaking multiple hands in the space of between eight and nine seconds.

00:00:11 - The handshake ends and Louis Cut marks the conclusion of the interaction with a hand gesture: the raised thumb and little finger of his right hand, which he shakes from side to side. While friendly, the shape of this hand gesture also puts up a barrier between the two men, signifying their differing statuses.

If not examined closely, because of the angle of the video, this may be mistaken as the sideways thumb 'clear off' gesture, but our expert analysis has found this not to be the case. Nonetheless, the man turns to leave, seemingly happy with how this whole 'handshaking the DJ' thing went, revelling in the feeling of being human again.

00:00:13 - As he steps down from the stage, the cap and shades wearing blue face dude grips what appears to be a small amount of garden fencing material affixed in front of the DJ equipment laid out before Louis Cut.

00:00:14 - Not letting go soon enough as he makes his descent, he pulls too hard on the fencing material, in doing so pulling the table on which the DJ equipment sits. It angles forward to a point where it becomes off balance and tips off the stage.

I think it's probably important to note here - for anyone not fully trained in live music production - that this is generally seen by professionals as not a great thing to happen.

00:00:23 - In the first of a series of replays we see the incident from another angle - stage left, rather than stage right.

Pausing at this point shows the previously confident stage intruder now lying on the floor in front of the staging, head slightly raised, arms all over the shop.

The paused video also shows the previously mentioned DJ equipment hanging motionless in mid air. But this is a visual illusion created by my expert manipulation of the video, in case you wondered. In reality, the equipment is falling quickly towards the man.

00:00:27 - Now revisiting the entire event from the back of the stage, we see Mr-Cap- Shades-And-Blue-Face step forward from speakers positioned in front of the stage onto the stage itself, before initiating the previously described handshake.

In another video of the full set, some minutes earlier this man can be seen dancing on those very speakers. At one point he waves his arms about like he's conducting the crowd, drastically misunderstanding his role in the situation.

00:00:28 - While all these replays are happening visually, we seem to be able to hear the audio of a rescue mission snapping into action from the original gravity moment we previously saw.

"Upside down, table off!" shouts a voice, the message delivered so quickly that only a small number of the necessary words come out, and those are in the wrong order.

00:00:37 - "There's someone under there", says another voice, the replays now complete and the aftermath now also unfolding on camera.

It's easy to forget that not everyone was watching this occur second-to-second from multiple angles. In reality, it's entirely possible that most people were looking at something entirely different during the few seconds when it all happened. Maybe they were briefly distracted by thoughts of normal society and how they had escaped it.

00:00:53 - The table is pulled back up onto the stage. Admit it, for the few seconds before it's flipped upright again, you thought the equipment might still be on it. It's not. That's not how tables work. Think about when you flip the table over every time you lose at Monopoly. Does the board stay on the table? Do all the hotels your cousin put on the brown properties stay in place? No. Tables are not magic.

As this happens, someone finally addresses the injured man. "Are you alright buddy? Are you all good?"

00:00:57 - "Imossay huh", replies the man, confirming that he is unharmed. It's hard to believe we've been in his presence this long and this is the first time we've actually heard him speak. It's like in 'Ghost Dog' when Forest Whitaker doesn't speak for the first 20 minutes. Except stupid.

00:00:59 - "You've got a pretty bad bump on your head, we'd better take you to the medical tent", the previous voice informs the injured handshaker. Turns out that said handshaker is not unharmed and his own assessment of the situation was incorrect.

00:01:03 - "It's all good", comes a new voice. "Don't even worry about it, man. Just wanna make sure you're OK". No further noises have emerged from the injured man as far as can be heard on the video. Nor can we see exactly what's happening.

However, someone telling him "it's all good" and "don't even worry about it" suggests that the man is worried and doesn't believe it's "all good". Whether this is all manifesting in silent weeping or raised fists cursing the gods is not clear.

All we can deduce is that the injured man may be worrying that a heavy CD-J falling onto his face has caused some disruption to the party.

And there the video ends. Although apparently the DJ equipment was returned to the stage and Louis Cut was able to finish his set. A true professional. Though perhaps now a man who will think twice about dishing out handshakes quite so freely.

In case you wondered about the handshake guy, Cut writes on his Facebook page: "Just to make it clear, the kid is alright. He went to the hospital and got some stitches in his head and as far as I know he is fine now". So, as it transpires, it wasn't actually "all good" at 00:01:03, but it is "all good" now. Just as well. I wouldn't want to have to rewrite this entire piece in a more sombre tone.

At this stage, I think it would be a good time to return to the Rabbits Eat Lettuce website for another piece of terrible advice that I trust will now be removed to ensure gravity calamities of this kind can never occur again. "Give praise to strangers", it says. "Smile at everyone. Make new friends. Be helpful. Know your neighbours. Share. Be so happy that when people look at you they become happier".

I don't know about you, but seeing all this now makes me glad that - instead of attending this festival - I stuck to the "hustle and bustle of the city life" where none of those values exist. It's clearly much safer.

BACK TO THE TOP OF THE BULLETIN

 
ANDY MALT | Editor
Andy heads up the team, overseeing the CMU bulletins and website, coordinating features and interviews, reporting on artist and business stories, and contributing to the CMU Approved column.
Email andy@unlimitedmedia.co.uk (except press releases, see below)
   
CHRIS COOKE | MD & Business Editor
Chris provides music business coverage and analysis. Chris also leads the CMU Insights training and consultancy business and education programme CMU:DIY, and heads up CMU publisher 3CM UnLimited.
Email chris@unlimitedmedia.co.uk (except press releases, see below)
   
SAM TAYLOR | Commercial Manager & Insights Associate
Sam oversees the commercial side of the CMU media, leading on sales and sponsorship, and advising on CMU Insights training courses and events.
Email sam@unlimitedmedia.co.uk or call 020 7099 9060
   
CARO MOSES | Co-Publisher
Caro helps oversee the CMU media, while as a Director of 3CM UnLimited she heads up the company's other two titles ThisWeek London and ThreeWeeks Edinburgh, and supports other parts of the business.
Email caro@unlimitedmedia.co.uk
 
CMU supports the music community by providing news, business intelligence, training and education.

CMU Daily covers all the latest news and developments direct by email.

Setlist is a weekly podcast dissecting the biggest music business stories.

CMU Premium gives you access to the weekly CMU Digest and CMU Trends.

CMU Insights provides training and consultancy for music companies.

CMU:DIY provides workshops and resources for future music talent.



© UnLimited Media, a division of 3CM Enterprises Ltd

UnLimited Media, Kemp House, 152 City Road, London EC1V 2NX
t: 020 7099 9050 (editorial) 020 7099 9060 (sales)

Send press releases to musicnews@unlimitedmedia.co.uk

Email advertising queries to ads@unlimitedmedia.co.uk

Email training and consultancy queries to insights@unlimitedmedia.co.uk

publishing@unlimitedmedia.co.uk | complaints@unlimitedmedia.co.uk