FRIDAY 8 DECEMBER 2017 COMPLETEMUSICUPDATE.COM
TODAY'S TOP STORY: YouTube is plotting a standalone subscription music service. Yes, again. What could possibly go wrong with that? The new product, which is pencilled in for a March 2018 launch, has the internal working title of 'If We Launch This Nonsense Will You All Fucking Shut Up About The Value Gap?' Or 'Remix' for short. Which doesn't really work does it? Either as an acronym for my made-up full name or as brand for a generic streaming music service... [READ MORE]
DISSECTING THE DIGITAL DOLLAR - STEP BY STEP
As the UK's Music Managers Forum publishes two new guides as part of phase three of its 'Dissecting The Digital Dollar' programme, CMU Trends summarises what we've learned from the project so far in 30 points - ten from part one, ten from part two, and ten from the new guides. Along the way we cover digital licensing, all the key issues with the current streaming business model, and what you need to know about label deals and transparency in the streaming age. [READ MORE]
   
GLOBAL MUSIC DATA AND BLOCKCHAIN
There has been lots of debate around the music rights data problem in recent years, and a number of initiatives are underway to tackle the issue. Though Spotify's mechanical royalties dispute and the lack of songwriter credits on the streaming platforms shows the problem persists. As Music 4.5 puts the spotlight back on all things data, CMU Trends reviews discussions to date, challenges to be met, and where progress is being made. [READ MORE]
   
THE RIGHTS OF ARTISTS AND SONGWRITERS POST-ASSIGNMENT - PERFORMER AND MORAL RIGHTS
Copyright provides creators with control over that which they create, but what happens when the creators themselves don't own the copyright in their work? Artists and songwriters who are no longer in control of their copyrights do still have some rights, sometimes by contract, and via performer and moral rights. CMU Trends considers what the law says about the rights of artists and songwriters after their copyrights have been assigned. [READ MORE]
TOP STORIES YouTube planning subscription music service... again
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DEALS Minder Music founder signs new deal with BMG
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LIVE BUSINESS New award and concert to celebrate artists who promote human rights
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BRANDS & MERCH MusicTank puts the spotlight on ad sync with new book and event
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DIGITAL & D2F SERVICES Deezer launches high quality streaming service in Japan
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RELEASES Peace support campaign for music research into young people's mental health
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ONE LINERS Ed Sheeran, Camila Cabello, Lil Wayne, more
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AND FINALLY... Beef Of The Week #384: Noel Gallagher v ...Noel Gallagher?
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MAMA FESTIVALS - HEAD OF CREATIVE PRODUCTION (LONDON)
MAMA Festivals is one of the UK’s leading festival businesses. The Head Of Creative Production works alongside managers and consultants to deliver creative aspects of Lovebox, Citadel and Wilderness festivals.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
KILIMANJARO LIVE - MARKETING ASSISTANT (LONDON)
This role spans two areas within Kilimanjaro Live; working with the Promoters and the Head of Marketing to co-ordinate and implement marketing strategies and plans, and working across the company as a whole on office administration and support as well as providing support to all roles when required.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
GARGANTUAN MUSIC - SENIOR MUSIC CONSULTANT UK (LONDON)
Gargantuan Music is looking for a highly experienced Senior Music Consultant with an excellent proven track record in sales, marketing and music supervision within the music industry.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
GARGANTUAN MUSIC - MUSIC PRODUCTION MANAGER (LONDON)
This is an exciting opportunity to work at a world class production music company. Gargantuan Music is looking for an experienced Music Production Manager.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
I AM POP - MARKETING & PARTNERSHIPS EXECUTIVE (LONDON)
POP is the simplest way for musicians, labels, brands and others to launch a Facebook Messenger bot. The Marketing & Partnerships Executive will work closely with POP’s Head of Partnerships and our Marketing team to help POP connect with customers and grow our presence globally.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
STONES THROW RECORDS - JUNIOR PRODUCT MANAGER (LONDON)
Stones Throw is seeking a full-time Junior Product Manager at its European office in London. You'll work closely with the UK & Europe Label Manager to deliver marketing campaigns in these territories, and provide general support to assist in the day to day running of the label in the UK and Europe.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
ATC LIVE - SENIOR BOOKING ASSISTANT (LONDON)
ATC Live is a live booking agency based in Camden, London, and we are looking for a senior booking assistant to join our team. This is an exciting opportunity for a highly organised and motivated senior booking assistant to join a busy live booking agency.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
KOBALT - SENIOR ONBOARD MANAGER (LONDON)
The primary focus of the client Onboarding team is to work in conjunction with our Tech team to transition the new clients' data onto Kobalt's proprietary systems and into the ongoing day-to-day processes of the core Operational teams.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
KOBALT - AWAL COMMUNITY SUPPORT ASSISTANT (LONDON)
AWAL serves a growing roster of emerging talent and already established independent artists from all over the world. As our AWAL community continues to grow, we're now looking for someone to join our client management team to help support these labels and artists using the cutting-edge AWAL tools.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
KOBALT - ASSISTANT, CLIENT RELATIONS (LONDON)
Our growing Client Relations team in London is looking for a confident and detail oriented self-starter to support with crucial day-to-day tasks such as transitioning new clients into the Kobalt system and carrying out internal reviews and quality checks.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
DOMINO - PRODUCT MANAGER (LONDON)
Domino seeks a Product Manager to join its London team. Product Managers at Domino are in charge of running artist campaigns inside the company.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
SONGULAR MUSIC - PLAYLIST PROMOTIONS (LONDON)
Join the UK's top streaming promotions company and play a key role in helping some of the world's most exciting new artists get heard.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
THE ORCHARD - INDIE SALES MANAGER (LONDON)
The Orchard has a vacancy for an Indie Sales Manager servicing independent record shops and online accounts. Candidates should ideally have experience working with music retail, distribution or at a label.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
KILIMANJARO LIVE - VENUE & BOX OFFICE MANAGEMENT ROLES (LONDON)
Kilimanjaro Live is working with Dinosaurs In The Wild to bring its amazing adventure to London in 2018 for a long term run. We are recruiting a Venue Manager, Assistant Venue Manager and Box Office Managers to manage the venue operations.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
VMS LIVE - PROMOTER (VARIOUS LOCATIONS)
VMS Live is looking for an experienced promoter to work in our expanding events team. Based in one of our UK offices the successful candidate will be work alongside existing staff to book and promote artists/events into our existing partner venues estate around the UK, as well as delivering shows in our own right as VMS Live.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
VMS LIVE - JUNIOR BOOKER (VARIOUS LOCATIONS)
VMS Live is looking for a Junior Booker to work in our expanding events team. Based in one of our UK offices the position will be working alongside our existing staff to book and promote artists/events into our existing partner venues estate around the UK, as well as delivering shows in our own right as VMS Live.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
13 ARTISTS - SENIOR BOOKING ASSISTANT (BRIGHTON)
13 Artists are looking to recruit a Senior Booking Assistant who, among other things, will liaise with agents, management and labels on touring periods, financial and logistic requirements; negotiate routing and arrange dates with promoters and venues; and analyse costings for shows to get the best deals for artists.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
THE REST IS NOISE - MUSIC EVENTS PR, SENIOR CAMPAIGN MANAGER (LONDON)
The Rest Is Noise is a music specialist communications agency that look after a range of PR campaigns. The role is for an experienced PR to join our tight­knit team, delivering high impact PR campaigns within our events arm.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
SOLD OUT - CAMPAIGN MANAGER (LONDON)
As Campaign Manager at independent full service advertising agency Sold Out, you will be the lead person responsible for all elements of online marketing and be supporting the business through effective implementation of social media campaigns, campaign planning and buying, implementation and reporting for a variety of clients across the entertainment market.

For more information and to apply click here.
 
RECRUIT YOUR TEAM RIGHT HERE: 020 7099 9060 or ads@unlimitedmedia.co.uk
CMU PRIMER: KEY MUSIC BUSINESS TRENDS 2018
These are sessions that we run in-house at music companies or companies working with music. As we head into 2018, CMU Insights is now offering music companies a special two-hour primer session reviewing five key areas of the music business, summarising important developments from the last twelve months and looking at the challenges that lie ahead in the next year. Including: the streaming business, piracy, safe harbour, ticketing and data.

CLICK HERE to find out more about this CMU Insights primer.

YouTube planning subscription music service... again
YouTube is plotting a standalone subscription music service. Yes, again. What could possibly go wrong with that? The new product, which is pencilled in for a March 2018 launch, has the internal working title of 'If We Launch This Nonsense Will You All Fucking Shut Up About The Value Gap?' Or 'Remix' for short. Which doesn't really work does it? Either as an acronym for my made-up full name or as brand for a generic streaming music service.

We've been down this path before, of course. Back in 2014 the Google site unveiled YouTube Music Key. Coincidentally, that was just as the music industry decided that YouTube was no longer a useful platform for plugging music and driving iTunes sales - all while getting a little ad income to boot - but was instead the under-paying copyright-loophole-exploiting pain in the arse fucking up the then emerging premium streaming business.

Music Key was going to be a new subscription-based music streaming service tapping content from and being heavily promoted by the wider YouTube platform. It would ensure that the freeloaders using the video site as their primary music source would be turned into paying subscribers generating decent money for the music industry. And it would also allow Google to enter the about-to-boom streaming music market. Which it already had, of course, with the Google Play streaming service, but everyone had forgotten that existed.

There was plenty of chit chat about how Music Key would work, what extra flim flam it would offer in order to persuade YouTube's freebie music streamers to start paying, and how it would differ from Spotify et al. And there were meetings and presentations and beta testings and all sorts of product development shenanigans.

So many meetings and presentations and beta testings and product development shenanigans, in fact, that YouTube got bored with the whole Music Key project, and shunned it in favour of launching a subscription version of its entire video platform. That being YouTube Red, of course. Which still exists in some markets. I even met someone who had signed up for it once.

Since then the music industry has ramped up its rhetoric about YouTube being the "under-paying copyright-loophole-exploiting pain in the arse fucking up the premium streaming business". The alleged copyright-loophole allows YouTube to pay much lower royalties than other streaming platforms, it says, hence the 'value gap'.

The music industry now wants that alleged copyright loophole closed. Which, is to say, it is calling for the infamous copyright safe harbour, that protects internet companies when their users upload copyright infringing material, to be revised so to no longer protect services like YouTube.

In response, Google hired record industry veteran Lyor Cohen to try to placate the music industry. Earlier this year he wrote about all the exciting things YouTube was doing in music, basically telling his former colleagues that they should stop waffling on about 'safe harbour' and the 'value gap', and instead focus on all the many marvellous opportunities ahead. Those former colleagues all quickly responding with lengthy blog posts that could be summarised as follows: "We love you Lyor, but fuck off".

Having not fucked off, Cohen has since been bigging up the potential of YouTube Red, for music as well as other video creators, while also talking about YouTube Music and the aforementioned Google Play Music becoming more closely aligned, initially behind the scenes, but - he heavily implied - maybe ultimately in front of the scenes too.

This may be where this new service Remix is coming from. According to Bloomberg, talks with the three majors and indie label repping Merlin about them getting on board with Music Key v2 are well underway, with Cohen's former employer Warner Music reportedly already signed up.

Talks with Sony Music and Universal Music are ongoing, sources say. Though those talks may be further complicated because YouTube's deal with Vevo - the Sony/Universal owned platform that manages official channels for the majors' artists (and others) on YouTube - is also up for renewal. Although it has its own platform, Vevo is best know for its presence on YouTube, where it is able to sell its own advertising.

If YouTube increasingly pushes its users over to a new paid-for music set-up incorporating audio and video, that could take viewers away from Vevo and therefore Vevo's advertisers. Which wouldn't necessarily be an issue for Sony and Universal if YouTube Remix was a success and resulted in higher subscription-based royalties. But it could be an issue if YouTube wants the majors to take too big a risk on the as yet unproven new venture that could not only fail, but also screw up Vevo's core business in the meantime.

Even if YouTube can get all the key labels on board - and then the music publishers and their collecting societies - and even if that did placate the Google site's most vocal critics in the music community for now, it's far from assured that YouTube would be able to persuade its albeit massive user-base to start paying for music within its platform. If YouTube's subscription service failed to take off, the music industry is sure to return to full-on moaning about the value gap on the main ad-funded YouTube site.

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Minder Music founder signs new deal with BMG
Minder Music founder John Fogarty has announced a new deal with BMG covering the catalogue of his current company New Songs. Fogarty previously sold Minder Music to BMG in 2015 and had a consultancy relationship with the music rights firm as part of that arrangement.

The new deal will see BMG administrate those song rights controlled by Fogarty that were not part of the Minder Music acquisition, in addition to repertoire he has added to the New Songs business since 2015.

That includes work by the late songwriter Aaron Schroeder, who wrote over 1500 songs during his long career, and who is perhaps best known for his work with Elvis Presley. Fogarty secured an administration deal with Schroeder's widow Abby last year.

On his new tie-up with BMG, Fogarty said yesterday: "Since concluding the deal for BMG to acquire Minder, it has been a real pleasure working with the UK team. For my New Songs copyrights I wanted to be with a real publisher rather than a data processor - they are not the same thing - and I am pleased to sign with BMG, freeing up my time to acquire more copyrights".

BMG's Alexi Cory-Smith added: "John is one of the most accomplished and consistently successful independent publishers in the UK, and we are delighted to take on the administration of New Songs".

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New award and concert to celebrate artists who promote human rights
A new music award will be launched next year to recognise an artist who has promoted human rights through their music, and it will be presented at a special concert staged in London next autumn which is being promoted by Kilimanjaro Live. That concert, which will also seek to promote and raise money for a human rights charity supported by the award's winner, will be broadcast around the world.

The award and concert are being founded by an organisation called The High Note Project, led by David Clark, who has worked on a plethora of charitable initiatives over the years, many of them involving music or musicians. The award will be called the High Note Prize and the show the High Note Honors Concert.

The project is being endorsed by the UN High Commissioner For Human Rights, whose Director Of External Affairs, Laurent Sauveur, said yesterday: "Music is a force to be reckoned with and musicians have the power to mobilise. We are proud to help launch The High Note Project and High Note Music Prize in an effort to galvanise global awareness of the importance of human rights, and at the same time honour artists who passionately use their work to promote and protect the rights of others".

On the concert element, Kilimanjaro Live boss Stuart Galbraith said: "We're both pleased and proud to have been selected as the promoter of The High Note Honors Concert, which will be a significant global event for music and the artists of our time that are passionate about making a difference in the lives of others".

While the aforementioned Clark added: "Since music is an international language that has the power to inspire, heal and inform, The High Note Project was created as a platform to honour and recognise iconic artists who utilise music to promote social justice, as well as to unite human rights organisations with the global music community".

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MusicTank puts the spotlight on ad sync with new book and event
The University Of Westminster's MusicTank has teamed up with Record-Play, a consultancy which advises brands on music projects, to publish a free guide to sync. Called 'Unlocking The Sync', the report comes in two halves, one side giving the perspective of artists and music rights owners, the other of brands which utilise music.

Record-Play's Kier Wiater Carnihan, who has co-authored the guide with journalist Eamonn Forde, says of the book: "Over the last fifteen years or so, Record-Play has worked on thousands of music syncs and artist endorsements, from huge global campaigns to hyper-localised activations".

He goes on: "However, despite the impact such deals can have on artists' careers, we're always surprised by how little many musicians know about their rights and what little guidance is around to help them navigate the sometimes murky world of brand engagement. With 'Unlocking The Sync', we hope to illuminate that world and help educate musicians so that every decision they make is one that aligns with their own values and ambitions".

Commenting on its involvement in the publication, MusicTank Programme Director, Jonathan Robinson adds: "With traditional core revenue streams in continued sharp decline, musicians and rightsholders are necessarily having to look to other sources of revenue to sustain their careers and businesses. Synchronisation and brand engagement are increasingly seen as an essential part of artist and label core strategy, and as such this guide fills a gap in the armoury of the independent music maker whose focus is necessarily considerably wider than simply 'putting some music out there'".

MusicTank will also host a sync-centric afternoon of talks in London next February. You can access the guide here and info about the event here.

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Deezer launches high quality streaming service in Japan
Deezer has announced that it is to enter the Japanese market for the first time with its high quality audio service Deezer HiFi. The music streaming company is partnering with local audio hardware makers Onkyo and Yamaha to help it to reach audiophiles in the country.

Although higher quality streaming is more of a niche market, Deezer has been increasingly trying to compete in this less crowded field in recent years. Its launch in Japan is similar to its entry into the US in 2014, where it also initially launched with just its high quality service, then called Deezer Elite, via a partnership with Sonos.

Deezer revamped its high quality service earlier this year, renaming it Deezer HiFi and partnering with more hardware companies beyond Sonos. With the latest expansion, it reckons that it's the first streaming service to offer lossless CD quality audio in Japan.

This higher quality sounds comes at a premium in terms of price point, of course, which makes up somewhat for the niche market thing. A little. Though it'll only be worth a premium as long as no streaming company decides to offer this level of audio quality as standard. But that's probably a way off for now.

The new partnerships in Japan will see Deezer HiFi available through net-connected speakers and amplifiers make by Onkyo, its subsidiary Pioneer, and Yamaha. Onkyo already has its own hi-res download store, but has not as yet moved into streaming.

Says the CEO of Deezer's Asian business Henrik Karlberg: "As one of the early pioneers of streaming, we are excited to be in a position where we have the support of our partners, and also of the labels, in taking the Japanese music industry in a direction that is ultimately better for all parties - fans, artists, labels, management companies and Deezer. By making Deezer HiFi accessible to music lovers across the region, we will not only be able to deliver a fully immersive listening experience to customers but, together, we will be writing a brand new chapter in the Japanese music scene".

At launch, a Deezer HiFi subscription will cost 1960 yen per month - about £12.80. A good deal compared to the UK, where it costs £19.99 per month, but still double a Spotify subscription in Japan.

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Vigsy's Club Tip: Shoom at Pulse
Danny Rampling's seminal acid house night Shoom returns tonight to mark its 30th anniversary. First held in the basement of a fitness centre in Southwark back in 1987, the birthday celebrations take place in the same SE1 postcode, but in the slightly more auspicious setting of the Pulse nightclub (aka Bankside Vaults).

As well as Rampling himself, back-in-the-dayer Tony Humphries will be heading up the proceedings. Joining them are X-Press 2, Farley & Heller, Bushwacka!, Saytek, Josh Caffe, Ilona and Cici.

Wow. Head back to the place that first linked the smiley logo up with acid house. Gonna be a belter.

Friday 8 Dec, Pulse, 1 Invicta Plaza, South Bank, London, SE1 9UF, 10pm-7am, £27.50. More info here.

Peace support campaign for music research into young people's mental health
Peace have this morning released a new single, 'From Under Liquid Glass', to raise awareness of a new campaign by mental health charity MQ.

MQ's 'We Swear' campaign aims to raise awareness of the need for more research into the mental wellbeing of children. The charity says that research shows that 75% of mental health issues begin before people hit the age of eighteen, while only 30% of research funding goes on studying mental illness in young people. Or, as the strapline of the campaign puts it, "It's time to give a **** about mental health in young people".

Peace vocalist Harry Koissier says that the song is written based on his own experience with depression. "It is an honest, personal account of how I was feeling last year", he says. "Things in my life were rocky and I hit a low point; the song is a form of self-expression, which I found therapeutic. It helped to write my feelings down on paper".

He goes on: "The origin of the song is to do with the fear that if my peers and our fans got a glimpse of the fact that I wasn't actually a swirling eruption of positivity and that I was in fact really struggling with my mental health, they would feel somehow like I was a fraud. I think that fear is representative of the pressures on young men to be strong and mentally sound".

"It's campaigns like this one that MQ is doing that inspired me to face all my feelings head on and put all the imaginary criticism I was fearing I into a song. If people take comfort in the song that's only a good thing, and if people can relate to it, that's a good thing too, and to me is what music is about - and I hope it can help continue to raise awareness around mental health".

"Before now my approach has been to cover up and not talk about any sort of mental health issues, but I'm lucky in that I have songs to put my feelings into; this is the first time I've been this straight forward in a song and this honest".

Noting the departure this takes from Peace's other material, he adds: "Peace have always been about an explosion of happiness, but that isn't reflective of every part of me, and this song says that things can be polarised; you can be a happy person and also feel bad at times. It's reflective of everyone as most people I know have had, or will have, some degree of mental health issue at some point in their lives".

Speaking about the charity's involvement with Peace, campaign manager Nikki Peters says: "We're delighted that Peace have chosen to support us in raising the profile of mental health and the urgent need for more research. Harry's honest account of his own experience - and the band's passionate commitment to championing the issue - are hugely valuable".

She adds: "If we want to truly transform mental health we need to build a movement - with research at the centre. Working together with artists like Harry and Peace, as well as scientists, politicians, and the public themselves, we can bring about real change for everyone affected by mental illness".

As well as listening to the song, Peace are encouraging fans to share a 'We Swear' selfie on their social media accounts to raise awareness for the campaign. You can do that here. And you can find out more about the campaign as a whole here.

Listen to 'From Under Liquid Glass' here.

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Ed Sheeran, Camila Cabello, Lil Wayne, more

Other notable announcements and developments today...

• Ed Sheeran managed to fuck everything up yesterday, breaking royal protocol by informally touching Prince Charles on the arm when he went to collect his MBE. It might seem like a small thing, but I think it confirms once and for all that we should definitely abolish the royal family. And Ed Sheeran too, for accepting their stupid prize.

• Camila Cabello has announced that she will release her debut solo album, 'Camilla', on 28 Jan.

• Lil Wayne has announced that he will release his new EP, 'Dedication 6', on Christmas Day. So that's the argument over what you'll listen to during Christmas lunch settled.

• The Manic Street Preachers have released the first single from their upcoming new album, 'Resistance Is Futile'. Here's their tribute to foreign secretary Boris Johnson (possibly), 'International Blue'.

• Sophie is back with new single, 'Ponyboy'.

• Just in time for the new year, The Big Moon have released a video for their song 'Happy New Year'.

• Alleged comedian Jack Whitehall is "THRILLED to be hosting the BRITs". Absolutely "THRILLED". He could not be more "THRILLED". "It is the kind of show you dream of hosting as a kid, so really excited to have been asked", he adds. Just to confirm, Jack Whitehall has actually been hired to host the BRITs next year. Decisions like this are why they put so much booze on the tables at these events.

• Check out our weekly Spotify playlist of new music featured in the CMU Daily - updated every Friday.

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Beef Of The Week #384: Noel Gallagher v ...Noel Gallagher?
Noel Gallagher has a new album out. I'm not sure if you were aware. If only he'd agree to give a few more interviews, he might manage to get the word out a bit better.

I'm joking, of course. Fooled you, huh? I'm very funny. The promotional campaign for the new Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds album feels like it's been dragging on for about seven years now. Given that he's known as a man not afraid to fire off a few harsh words on demand, just the kind of thing both media and social media like, the PR strategy for the record has been to send him out to do as many interviews as humanly possible.

The result of this, coupled with the fact that Liam Gallagher is also out doing much the same for his new solo album, saw the whole thing descend into pantomime. Such has been the one-upmanship from interview to interview, that Noel ended up describing his brother as being mentally ill, while some of his promo ramblings even resulted in Noel being declared a "legend" by noted arbiter of taste Nigel Farage.

It can be hard to remember that the purpose of all this is to promote some new music. Although whenever Noel has actually got round to stopping talking, more on-message media do remember to play some of that new music. At which point I've always wished he'd bloody well start talking again. That new music, in my opinion, really isn't very good. At all.

Does my opinion count for anything, though? Well, no one asked me for it, so perhaps not. But there are still plenty of people out there who do provide their opinions on such things, upon request, for money (or whatever it is they give you for writing music reviews these days). And lots of those people seemed to think the new record was alright. Pleasurable, even.

In fact, the reviews for 'Who Built The Moon?' have been overwhelmingly positive. The album's producer, David Holmes, is often given as much of the credit as Noel himself. But praise is praise. And there's been plenty of it for the two men to share out between them.

"It's hardly Oneohtrix Point Never", said the NME - four stars! "The album regularly recalls some of the duller post-Britpop bands", said the Guardian - four stars! "A dazzling mess", said Rolling Stone - three and a half stars! "Many listeners will ... be disappointed", said Clash - four stars!

Of course, not everything said about the album could be this glowingly positive. Still, outright negative reviews are pretty hard to find. Hard, but not impossible. Ian Maleney's one star critique in The Irish Times is a thing to behold.

Declaring the album irrefutable proof that rock music is now entirely dead, Maleney describes the new LP as "a particularly guileless, tub-thumping, broad-strokes version of this pungent, hollowed-out genre".

Gallagher's "last memorable contribution to his art appeared more than two decades ago", he notes, adding that "there have been children born, raised, educated, employed and ruined in the years since Noel Gallagher last released a collection of music that meant anything to people".

"There are musical gestures here that would be a cause of embarrassment if you heard them played by a gang of black-clad teenagers at a Saturday afternoon battle-of-the-bands in a rural parish hall", he goes on. "Remove some of the varnish and this record could have been made any time in the last 70 years. It's the stale, musty sound of a glorified pub band going through the motions. Rock is dead; this is a pantomime".

So, now it's not just Noel's interview technique that has descended into pantomime. If his recordings have too, then the next logical phase of this transformation would be for him to arrive on stage at his live shows dressed as Widow Twankey. We could then all have a protracted round of shouting "he's behind you!", as someone dressed as Liam scuttles about at the back of the stage. Actually, make a note of that, this would be a great way to announce an actual Oasis reunion.

None of that is actually happening though. So, instead, we'll just have to make do with the new TV advert promoting 'Who Built The Moon?'

Adopting a well-worn form, the advert plays a bit of the record's music while overlaying quotes from reviews to further entice the listener. Much like I did above, but, perhaps unsurprisingly, going for a slightly different angle on some of the extracts picked. "Perhaps his best ever", it recalls The Sun proclaiming. And from the NME's review: "Noel's best album since '...Morning Glory'".

Then an actual funny thing happens. The third quote flashes up to drive this thing home, and it's the headline from that Irish Times piece. "A dried up oasis of dross", it sighs.

This juxtaposition has not gone unnoticed, obviously. As the advert airs on TV, people have been tweeting photographs of their screens asking what the hell is going on. Inevitably the media has also picked up on this, often following the theory being suggested in that long line of incredulous tweets, ie that this is some sort of accident. Or, at least, media reports start down that line in order to build an unnecessary level of mystery into the story. Could the inclusion of this review be an error? Oh no, it isn't.

It all feeds perfectly into the cartoonish narrative built around this album release. Presumably Noel himself had some hand in it. He's certainly aware of the one star review.

"That's me told then", he wrote on Instagram after the Irish Times piece was published last month. "See what they did there with the headline", he added, which, remember, was "A dried up oasis of dross".

If you're going to turn your career into a pantomime, you're going to need some puns. And seemingly for all involved, this one was just too good to pass up.

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ANDY MALT | Editor
Andy heads up the team, overseeing the CMU bulletins and website, coordinating features and interviews, reporting on artist and business stories, and contributing to the CMU Approved column.
Email andy@unlimitedmedia.co.uk (except press releases, see below)
   
CHRIS COOKE | MD & Business Editor
Chris provides music business coverage and analysis. Chris also leads the CMU Insights training and consultancy business and education programme CMU:DIY, and heads up CMU publisher 3CM UnLimited.
Email chris@unlimitedmedia.co.uk (except press releases, see below)
   
SAM TAYLOR | Commercial Manager & Insights Associate
Sam oversees the commercial side of the CMU media, leading on sales and sponsorship, and advising on CMU Insights training courses and events.
Email sam@unlimitedmedia.co.uk or call 020 7099 9060
   
CARO MOSES | Co-Publisher
Caro helps oversee the CMU media, while as a Director of 3CM UnLimited she heads up the company's other two titles ThisWeek London and ThreeWeeks Edinburgh, and supports other parts of the business.
Email caro@unlimitedmedia.co.uk
 
CMU supports the music community by providing news, business intelligence, training and education.

CMU Daily covers all the latest news and developments direct by email.

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CMU Premium gives you access to the weekly CMU Digest and CMU Trends.

CMU Insights provides training and consultancy for music companies.

CMU:DIY provides workshops and resources for future music talent.



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