THURSDAY 2 NOVEMBER 2017 COMPLETEMUSICUPDATE.COM
TODAY'S TOP STORY: Nashville-based PR company Webster Public Relations - which counts artists such as Dolly Parton, Billy Ray Cyrus and Meatloaf as clients - has announced that it is changing its name, after sexual assault accusations were made against its founder, Kirt Webster. The publicity company, thought to have closed completely at one point yesterday, will now be known as Westby Public Relations... [READ MORE]
DISSECTING THE DIGITAL DOLLAR - STEP BY STEP
As the UK's Music Managers Forum publishes two new guides as part of phase three of its 'Dissecting The Digital Dollar' programme, CMU Trends summarises what we've learned from the project so far in 30 points - ten from part one, ten from part two, and ten from the new guides. Along the way we cover digital licensing, all the key issues with the current streaming business model, and what you need to know about label deals and transparency in the streaming age. [READ MORE]
   
GLOBAL MUSIC DATA AND BLOCKCHAIN
There has been lots of debate around the music rights data problem in recent years, and a number of initiatives are underway to tackle the issue. Though Spotify's mechanical royalties dispute and the lack of songwriter credits on the streaming platforms shows the problem persists. As Music 4.5 puts the spotlight back on all things data, CMU Trends reviews discussions to date, challenges to be met, and where progress is being made. [READ MORE]
   
THE RIGHTS OF ARTISTS AND SONGWRITERS POST-ASSIGNMENT - PERFORMER AND MORAL RIGHTS
Copyright provides creators with control over that which they create, but what happens when the creators themselves don't own the copyright in their work? Artists and songwriters who are no longer in control of their copyrights do still have some rights, sometimes by contract, and via performer and moral rights. CMU Trends considers what the law says about the rights of artists and songwriters after their copyrights have been assigned. [READ MORE]
TOP STORIES Webster PR changes name following sexual assault allegations against founder
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DEALS Reservoir signs DVBBS
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LABELS & PUBLISHERS Sainsbury's to launch record label
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LIVE BUSINESS Fyre Festival documentary being planned
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DIGITAL & D2F SERVICES YouTube says that C3 video block was administrative not editorial
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MEDIA Stations to change hands as Entercom and CBS create second biggest American radio firm
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ARTIST NEWS Maroon 5 embarrassed by album title's accidental association with 'men's rights' movement
Bob Dylan to publish Nobel Prize winner's speech
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ONE LINERS Warner Music, Bandcamp, Jake Shears, more
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AND FINALLY... Harry Styles slips on kiwi during London show
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SOLD OUT - CAMPAIGN MANAGER (LONDON)
As Campaign Manager at this independent full service advertising agency, you will be the lead person responsible for all elements of online marketing and be supporting the business through effective implementation of social media campaigns, campaign planning and buying, implementation and reporting for a variety of clients across the entertainment market.

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KOBALT - VP DIGITAL MARKETING, UK & INTERNATIONAL (LONDON)
Kobalt is looking for a VP Digital Marketing, UK & International to join the Kobalt Music Recordings team and work with our growing roster of emerging and established artists from all over the world.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
TRU THOUGHTS - DIGITAL MARKETING & CONTENT MANAGER (BRIGHTON)
Tru Thoughts is looking to hire a Digital Marketing and Content Manager to work in-house at our office in Brighton. The candidate should be confident and organised, with a demonstrable passion for the label’s music (and a love of being by the sea).

For more information and to apply click here.
   
TUNECORE - UK BRAND MANAGER (LONDON)
TuneCore is looking for a UK Brand Manager to be responsible for the development of its brand and customer base across the UK. The Brand Manager will have a deep understanding of, and an extensive network in, both the UK music market and the indie scene, and direct experience working in the independent music industry.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
THE ROUNDHOUSE - MUSIC PROGRAMME PRODUCER (LONDON)
This is an excellent opportunity for an enthusiastic and dynamic individual to lead on the planning and management of the Roundhouse's exceptional Music Programme for young people.

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CR2 RECORDS - PRODUCT & MARKETING MANAGER (LONDON)
Cr2 Records is looking for an experienced Product and Marketing Manager to manage all singles and albums / compilation releases. This will include all product and marketing assets, scheduling, promotion timelines and co-ordinating between all departments internally and teams externally to ensure the best possible product chart positions and sales for the label.

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CIRCUS RECORDS - LABEL ASSISTANT (LONDON)
Circus Records and its associated group of companies are looking for a key addition to their growing team. We are looking for a label assistant working within the company, to aid and support key functions within administration, communication and operations of the label.

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EVENTBRITE - SENIOR BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MANAGER, MUSIC (LONDON)
Eventbrite is looking for someone to help build a world-class business development team focused on music in Europe that consistently exceeds business targets, partners cross-functionally with our global teams, and helps write the playbook for our European market.

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WORLDWIDE FM - STATION MANAGER (LONDON)
Worldwide FM is looking to hire a Station Manager to organise the day-to-day running of the online radio platform. The role is working closely with the directors on all aspects of the business.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
MUSIC CONCIERGE - MUSIC CONSULTANT (HERTFORDSHIRE)
Music Concierge, the award-winning music consultancy for boutique hotels, luxury brands, restaurant and bars, is looking for a Music Consultant to join our small but expanding creative team.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
MUSIC CONCIERGE - PLAYLIST DESIGNER (HERTFORDSHIRE)
Music Concierge, the award-winning music consultancy for boutique hotels, luxury brands, restaurant and bars, is looking for a Playlist Designer to join our small but expanding creative team.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
KOBALT - SVP SYNCHRONISATION, UK & EUROPE (LONDON)
The Senior Vice President of Synchronisation will be responsible for overseeing creative pitching, clearance and synch administration for the United Kingdom, Ireland, Spain, Portugal and Netherlands and overseeing synch agents and sub-publishers in key territories including France, Italy and Eastern Europe.

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THE ORCHARD - INTERACTIVE MARKETING MANAGER (LONDON)
The Orchard is looking for a savvy, seasoned digital music marketer to promote its distributed artists in Europe and beyond. The ideal candidate will come from a label or distribution background and have an exceptional understanding of the digital space.

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SJM CONCERTS - JUNIOR PROMOTER (MANCHESTER)
SJM Concerts are at the forefront of the Live UK Music market. With nearly a 30 year history as a company we promote some of the biggest tours for artists from around the world. Those who are both long established and those setting the bar for the future.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
BMG - DIGITAL MARKETING ASSISTANT, CATALOGUE RECORDINGS (LONDON)
We are looking for a passionate Digital Marketing Assistant to join our Catalogue Marketing team. This is a newly created role and the successful candidate will assist the Marketing Manager and wider team with developing and executing effective digital marketing strategies for the BMG Catalogue campaigns.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
WARP RECORDS - CREATIVE LICENSING MANAGER (LONDON)
Warp Records is looking to hire a Creative Licensing Manager, Advertising to join our Sync team in London to deliver licensing opportunities for our Artists focusing on Advertising, Trailers & Promos.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
GREEN MAN - MARKETING MANAGER (LONDON)
Green Man Festival wishes to appoint a Marketing Manager to join our friendly team, who will create and implement marketing campaigns for the festival as well as other Green Man events and experiences.

For more information and to apply click here.
   
NINJA TUNE - MARKETING ASSISTANT (LONDON)
Ninja Tune seeks a Marketing Assistant to provide support for the Product Managers across all areas of artist campaigns. Someone who is passionate about music, with previous music industry experience, preferably within marketing.

For more information and to apply click here.
 
RECRUIT YOUR TEAM RIGHT HERE: 020 7099 9060 or ads@unlimitedmedia.co.uk
How The Music Business Works
SEMINARS | every Monday until 13 Nov, London | INFO
Our 'How The Music Business Works' programme consists of eight two-hour seminars which together cover: the various ways the music industry generates revenue, building and engaging a fanbase, the business partnerships artists form with music companies, and how the artist/label relationship is changing.
 
Enforcing Music Rights - Safe Harbours And Piracy
MASTERCLASS | Monday 20 November 2017, London | INFO
In this half day masterclass, CMU MD and Business Editor Chris Cooke will look at how the music industry enforces its copyrights, at the long-running battle with online music piracy, and at the controversy around the copyright safe harbour.

Webster PR changes name following sexual assault allegations against founder
Nashville-based PR company Webster Public Relations - which counts artists such as Dolly Parton, Billy Ray Cyrus and Meatloaf as clients - has announced that it is changing its name, after sexual assault accusations were made against its founder, Kirt Webster. The publicity company, thought to have closed completely at one point yesterday, will now be known as Westby Public Relations.

Inspired by the #MeToo hashtag on social media, former country singer Austin Rick said in a post on Facebook over the weekend that he had been sexually assaulted by Webster in 2008, while he was a client of the PR company.

"He sexually assaulted me repeatedly, he drugged and sexually violated me, he offered me publicity opportunities and magazine columns in exchange for sexual acts", Rick wrote. "He paid me to keep my mouth shut. And he did everything under threat that he'd make sure nobody in the industry ever heard my name again. It took me a year to escape from him and get away to where he couldn't find me or reach me any longer - although he still continued to harass me via phone and text messages".

Then eighteen years old, Rick alleges several instances of misconduct by Webster in an interview with Nashville Scene that was published on Tuesday. The first, he said, came when Webster told him that, in order to pitch for an appearance in 'Playgirl' magazine, he would first have to see him naked. When he undressed, he says, Webster performed oral sex on him.

On another occasion, at a party at Webster's house, the PR exec fondled his genitals in a hot tub. Later the same night, he woke up in Webster's bed, apparently having been drugged, with him "hugging me, kissing me all over my face and mouth, and neck and lips".

"I know I was sexually assaulted", Rick said. "I don't know if I was raped. When I woke up in his bed, I knew after that I had to leave".

Rick didn't just leave Webster's house, but the music industry entirely, instead enlisting in the army. He added that he has no interest in returning to the music industry now. Following Rick's initial allegations on Facebook, Webster PR put out a statement, accusing its former client of an "opportunistic" move to reignite interest in his singing career.

"As a single adult, Mr Webster has had multiple relationships over the course of his professional life, all of which have been consensual", said the company. "This includes a brief relationship with Mr Rick. It saddens Mr Webster that nine years later, after Mr Rick's music career has been stagnant, Mr Rick has taken the opportunistic approach of mischaracterising that relationship and posting untrue allegations".

Everything then appeared to carry on as normal, with the firm sending out a press release promoting an album by Heidi Parton just yesterday afternoon, UK time. However, then the company, which celebrated its 20th anniversary last year, announced on its website that it was "no longer in business", after which said website went offline completely. But it returned hours later, with a new statement that it was simply rebranding, while Webster "takes some time away" to fight Rick's allegations.

"Webster Public Relations will continue operating - but under the name Westby Public Relations - while Kirt Webster takes some time away from the business to focus on combating the egregious and untrue allegations made against him", it said. "The company's work on behalf of its clients will continue under the leadership of Jeremy Westby, Kirt's longstanding colleague".

As yet, these changes are not reflected on the agency's website or social media accounts.

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Reservoir signs DVBBS
US music rights firm Reservoir has signed one of those global music publishing deals with electronic duo DVBBS following the recent release of their album 'Blood Of My Blood'. And everyone's just "THRILLED" about the news.

"We are THRILLED to start this new partnership with Reservoir", say the duo. "From the very first meeting we had together, everyone was on the same page, sharing the same vision for our catalogue and the future of DVBBS. We're looking forward to working together and expanding opportunities as songwriters, producers, and artists across the globe".

"I'm THRILLED to welcome DVBBS to the Reservoir family", says the firm's SVP of Creative & A&R Spek. "Chris and Alex are incredibly versatile songwriters and producers who have carved out their own lane that transcends EDM. We look forward to bigger things ahead in their future and can't wait to get to work".

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Sainsbury's to launch record label
Having already proclaimed itself to be the UK's biggest seller of vinyl records, Sainsbury's is now launching its own vinyl-only record label. V.I.NY.L.R.E.V.I.V.A.L!

Launching in partnership with both Universal Music and Warner Music's Rhino division, the new company will be called Own Label. Which seems like a shit name at first, then quite clever, then shit again.

But whatever you think of the name, the supermarket chain's record company has managed to get itself going with a bit of credibility. It will launch with two compilations put together by Saint Etienne member and pop historian Bob Stanley, titled 'Coming Into Los Angeles - A Taste of West Coast' and 'Hi-Fidelity - A Taste Of Stereo Sound'.

Using his pop history brain, Stanley told the FT of his involvement: "Growing up, one thing I loved about the record shopping experience was the number of high street shops where you could buy new releases - not only Virgin or Our Price but Woolworths, Boots, WH Smith's. The opportunity to put new compilations in branches of Sainsbury's was irresistible to me".

Speaking to the BBC, he added: "I remember buying 'Dusty Springfield's Greatest Hits', the one with a striking high contrast black and white cover, at Woolworths in Croydon. I knew a few of the hits, but that was the first place I came across songs like 'Goin Back' and 'The Look Of Love', life-changing songs. Those kind of compilations - where some of the songs are familiar, and the rest of the album is a revelation which can shape your tastes - I think are just as important as classic standalone albums like 'Pet Sounds' or 'Parallel Lines'".

I think the notion that teenagers are going to have their formative musical experiences buying his compilations at a supermarket might be getting a bit rose tinted about the whole endeavour. It was nice when people bothered going out to buy records though, wasn't it?

Sainsbury's Head Of Music And Books, Pete Selby, said of the plans to launch a label: "Our customers' love of vinyl shows no sign of abating, so alongside the classics albums, we want to offer our shoppers something they won't find anywhere else. Our exclusive Own Label records have been carefully tailored towards the inquisitive, cultured tastes of our customers, so we're confident that they'll love the sound of our new releases and our ever increasing vinyl range".

Sainsbo's began selling vinyl in March 2016, quickly claiming that it had gained an 8% overall market share (now reportedly down to 5%). It also claims just under 70% of the 'grocery vinyl market', by which it means it sells more records than Tesco. To date, the retailer has sold over 300,000 vinyl LPs. As we know from all and any press coverage of the vinyl revival, the wider market for sales of vinyl discs is around 600 billion per day and said sales are single-handedly saving the entire music business.

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Fyre Festival documentary being planned
A multi-part documentary is in the pipeline telling the story of the total shitstorm that was the Fyre Festival, the supposedly luxurious music event in the Bahamas that collapsed just as ticket-buyers were arriving.

As much previously reported, marketing for the Fyre Festival - founded by Ja Rule and Billy McFarland - promised a luxury festival experience, but as people arrived on the island hosting the event it was clear management hadn't put in place the infrastructure required for even a basic event. The company behind the festival, and a talent-booking app it was set up to promote, subsequently fell apart.

A stack of litigation has since piled up in relation to the debacle, with pissed off ticket-buyers, suppliers and financial backers all suing Ja Rule, McFarland and the Fyre companies. McFarland also faces criminal charges of fraud.

The documentary is being made by a New York film company called The Cinemart, and is also backed by media firm Mic and music industry trade title Billboard.

Its producers say that "the docu-series will use thousands of emails from Fyre staff, material from attendees on the ground, news articles and investigative journalism to explore the fiasco as a cautionary tale for a status-obsessed generation".

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YouTube says that C3 video block was administrative not editorial
YouTube has denied it removed a video posted by the US-based Content Creators Coalition on editorial grounds, arguing that the video was stopped from running as an advert on its platform, for a time, for administrative reasons.

As previously reported, the Content Creators Coalition - aka C3 - last week published two videos criticising YouTube. One focused on the fact royalties paid by YouTube to the music community are considerably lower than those paid by services like Spotify and Apple Music, while the other dealt with frustrations around the platform's takedown system.

The videos are part of C3's ongoing efforts to lobby for reform of the copyright safe harbour in American law, which the music industry argues is being exploited by user-upload platforms like YouTube to force music rights owners into licensing deals that generate much less income for record labels, music publishers, artists and songwriters.

C3 has posted its campaigning videos to various platforms, including YouTube, where it sought to push its content out further by buying advertising from the Google site. Which means it's using YouTube to diss YouTube. Which is fun.

However, 48 hours into the campaign, the YouTube platform blocked C3 from pushing out its content. The campaigning group hit back, stating: "After two days of widespread press coverage of our artist-driven campaign to pressure Google into treating artists more fairly you suspended and are now censoring our account".

YouTube did subsequently unblock the video on C3's account, and yesterday it insisted that the temporary blockage had nothing to do with the content of the video. A spokesperson for the Google site told CMU: "We never removed this video or any video on this channel from YouTube. The video in question was briefly prevented from running as an advertisement on our systems, due to a payment issue. That issue has been resolved and the video is again running as an advertisement".

Sources with knowledge of C3's campaign say that the organisation is unaware of any payment issues on its YouTube account, as nothing changed at its end before, during or after the temporary block. Either way, I think its fair to say tensions remain strained between the Google video site and much of the music community.

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Stations to change hands as Entercom and CBS create second biggest American radio firm
American radio firm Entercom has agreed to divest thirteen of its stations in a bid to get approval from the US Department Of Justice for its merger with CBS Radio.

As previously reported, it was announced in February that US media business CBS would spin off its radio division into a standalone company and then merge that with Entercom to create the second biggest radio business in America.

That deal needs approval from both competition and media regulators Stateside. The DoJ has agreed to OK the deal providing Entercom sells off stations in Philadelphia, Boston, San Francisco and Sacramento. Competition regulators said that, without those sales, the combined Entercom/CBS would be too dominant in those cities, skewing the respective local advertising markets.

Makan Delrahim, Assistant Attorney General in the DoJ's antitrust division, said: "The required divestitures will protect competition for local businesses that advertise on radio stations in [these cities]. The elimination of this competition would have resulted in higher prices to businesses in those markets".

Entercom will sell the stations it is required to divest to rivals iHeartMedia and the Beasley Broadcast Group. Though, as part of its deal with iHeart, it will also acquire some stations.

The merger still requires approval from media regulator FCC, but that is expected imminently. Confirming the deal with the DoJ, Entercom CEO David Field told reporters: "Today's announcements mark a significant milestone as we work to complete the transformational combination of Entercom and CBS Radio. While it is necessary to divest certain stations in order to secure regulatory approval, it is difficult to part ways with so many strong brands and, most importantly, their talented people".

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Approved: Zilla
Classically trained pianist turned leftfield pop artist Zilla released her debut single, 'Get Your Way', in September via Matthew Herbert's Accidental Records. An immediately arresting piece of music, the follow-up 'The Sleepwalker' proves that was no accident.

Both tracks follow a similar pattern, with mechanical percussion underpinning controlled but difficult to grasp melodic elements - all created with non-musical sounds, like drilling, a bunch of oyster shells and an electric toothbrush - pulled together and softened by Zilla's vocals.

"All the instruments used in the song are real objects", she says of making 'Get Your Way'. "The beat was called 'Round' and I decided to use all round objects, firstly because the loops in my head at that time were constant, it was like living in a world of sequences, my mind would obsess on bits of sentences or bits of music non stop".

"Round is also a very feminine shape" she adds, "a pregnant woman, the female body. Round can represent a routine, so it can be reassuring and comforting but also there is something quite disturbing about not being able to get out".

Herbert adds of his latest signing: "I like the fact that Zilla can sit at a piano and bash out some Rachmaninov and Debussy, but chose instead to make an ahead-of-its-time record out of the ephemera of ordinary life. It bristles with the friction of real life as opposed to the comfort of the recording studio".

Watch the video for 'The Sleepwalker' here.

Stay up to date with all of the artists featured in the CMU Approved column by subscribing to our Spotify playlist.

Maroon 5 embarrassed by album title's accidental association with 'men's rights' movement
Maroon 5 have admitted that the title of their new album, 'Red Pill Blues', is terrible. It's only a short step now to them making the same acknowledgment of their music too. Although the issue with the album title is its accidental association with the men's rights movement, which somehow remains a thing.

The band actually named the album in reference to the scene in the 1999 movie 'The Matrix', in which Keanu Reeves' character Neo is asked to take a red pill to reveal the true nature of the world or a blue one to go back to his normal life. Men's rights activists (I know I just pointed this out, but I think it's worth saying again: still a thing) have co-opted this idea to mark their moment of realisation that women have no business having as nice a time as they do.

It's possible you had no idea that this was the case, on account of you not being a fucking idiot. The band seemingly had no inkling that the title would prove controversial either, leading to their publicist having to send out a statement saying that the record "does not have any relation" to the men's right's movement (which is a thing).

"We didn't really understand the whole men's rights thing", guitarist James Valentine tells the Huffington Post, discussing the thing that is still a thing. "We're like, 'Oh man, of course, like 2017 is the worst'".

I thought 2016 was the worst, and 2017 was the year where we just accepted that everything was terrible. At least David Bowie didn't die this year.

Anyway, Valentine continues: "Seeing the world for what it is in 2017 can be kind of rough. We had no idea about the association with men's rights. Hopefully, everyone knows from all of our pasts - from our statements on the issue and our actions in the past - that we are all hardcore feminists in the band. So that's a horrible association to have. The internet trolls have to ruin everything".

I think technically the Wackowskis ruined 'The Matrix' with those awful sequels, but... on, no, I see what he means. The album title. I forget that not everyone's default position on Maroon 5 is that anything to do with them is awful.

As for whether the band would consider changing the name of the album, which is out this Friday, Valentine says: "It's out there and I think it's maybe too late. I think maybe we can reclaim [it] for the good side".

The good side? Oh, now Maroon 5 and I are on the same side? Let's just add that to the list of terrible things the men's rights movement (a thing) is responsible for.

--------------------------------------------------

Bob Dylan to publish Nobel Prize winner's speech
Whenever someone wins the Nobel Prize In Literature, it's natural that their next work of post-accolade literature is eagerly awaited. And for fans of last year's winner, Bob Dylan, that day is finally here. Dylan is publishing a new book featuring his Nobel Prize winner's lecture.

As you probably remember, Dylan was somewhat controversially named the winner of last year's Nobel literature prize. He then made it more controversial by being a bit non-committal about whether he even wanted it or not. He eventually, slightly begrudgingly, went to pick it up, but without giving the lecture required in order to collect his prize money. He then submitted a speech in recorded form a few days before the deadline when said prize money would have been withdrawn.

At 32 pages, the book containing the speech isn't hugely lengthy, and its words were already available in written and audio form on the Nobel Prize website. It's not even the first time some of it has been in print - author Andrea Pitzer discovered that a portion of the speech was lifted from a 'Moby-Dick' study guide. Still, from 30 Nov you will be able to own it all in hardback form for just £9.99.

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Warner Music, Bandcamp, Jake Shears, more

Other notable announcements and developments today...

• Warner Music yesterday announced the appointment of Karl Kongkham to the role of MD for its Thailand division. He joins the music firm from advertising business the Leo Burnett Group.

• Direct-to-fan platform Bandcamp earlier this week unveiled a new app for artists and labels which, it says, "gives you a real-time mobile view into your stats, helps you manage and fulfil your merch, and lets you directly message your fans, even targeting those messages by fan location and level of support".

• Immersive theatre show 'Inside Pussy Riot' will come to London later this month. Catch it at the Saatchi Gallery on King's Road in London from 14-24 Nov. More info here.

• Scissor Sisters' Jake Shears has released his debut solo single, 'Creep City'.

• Ahead of UK tour dates next week, Shabazz Palaces have released a video for 'Since CAYA', featuring Thundercat.

• The Go! Team's new single 'Semicircle Song' now has a video.

• Susanna has announced that she will release a new album, 'Go Dig My Grave', on 9 Feb. Here's the title track.

• Káryyn has put out the third release in her 'Quanta' series, featuring new tracks 'Ever' and 'Un-c2see'.

• Girlhood have released new single, 'Baby Teeth', the title track of their debut EP, out this Friday.

• Ellie Goulding will headline a charity show in aid of Streets Of London at the Royal Albert Hall on 11 Dec. Tickets go on sale on Friday.

• Toddla T has announced a carnival-themed show at London's Oval Space on 9 Dec, where he'll be joined by The Dreem Teem, Jus Now x Dismantle, P Montana + Afro B, Jamz Supernova + Stush, and Snoochie Shy.

• Check out our weekly Spotify playlist of new music featured in the CMU Daily - updated every Friday.

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Harry Styles slips on kiwi during London show
Harry Styles narrowly avoided CERTAIN DEATH on the second night of his two night run at the Hammersmith Apollo this week, when he slipped on a kiwi fruit that had been thrown onto the stage.

Apparently fans have started wasting delicious kiwi fruits - also known as the Chinese gooseberry, by the way - in order to silently request that Styles perform his song 'Kiwi'. I wasn't aware that he had a song called 'Kiwi' until now. I didn't get that far into his utterly dreadful solo album that you all thought was so fucking clever.

Because the world is entirely fucked, the moment he slipped and his subsequent realisation of what had happened was captured from multiple angles and then placed on the internet by fans. Kiwi's having apparently never been an issue for him before, Styles noted that they "could end up being a problem".

"Quick thing", Styles announced to his audience, beginning a bit of mid-show admin. "As some of you may have seen, I may have slipped over on ... an actual kiwi fruit [that was] thrown on stage. There was a green seedy mush on the floor. Oh, there's another one. This could end up being a problem".

"Did anyone else bring a fruit to the show", he asked, thinking quickly. A positive response was returned. "Shame on you", he replied. He then mopped up the mess to avoid further potential falls.

Of course, Styles isn't the only pop star to end up having objects representing the titles of his songs thrown at him. Back in 2011, Bruno Mars had to request that fans stop throwing plastic grenades onto the stage when he performed 'Grenades', as it was starting to freak his band out. If anything, Styles has got off lightly.

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ANDY MALT | Editor
Andy heads up the team, overseeing the CMU bulletins and website, coordinating features and interviews, reporting on artist and business stories, and contributing to the CMU Approved column.
Email andy@unlimitedmedia.co.uk (except press releases, see below)
   
CHRIS COOKE | MD & Business Editor
Chris provides music business coverage and analysis. Chris also leads the CMU Insights training and consultancy business and education programme CMU:DIY, and heads up CMU publisher 3CM UnLimited.
Email chris@unlimitedmedia.co.uk (except press releases, see below)
   
SAM TAYLOR | Commercial Manager & Insights Associate
Sam oversees the commercial side of the CMU media, leading on sales and sponsorship, and advising on CMU Insights training courses and events.
Email sam@unlimitedmedia.co.uk or call 020 7099 9060
   
CARO MOSES | Co-Publisher
Caro helps oversee the CMU media, while as a Director of 3CM UnLimited she heads up the company's other two titles ThisWeek London and ThreeWeeks Edinburgh, and supports other parts of the business.
Email caro@unlimitedmedia.co.uk
 
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