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Imminent music festival seeks new headliner, GSOH, no broken legs

By | Published on Wednesday 17 June 2015

Foo Fighters

So, Dave Grohl’s broken leg has had to pull out of the Glastonbury Festival, and where Dave Grohl’s leg goes, the rest of the Foo Fighters follow. Dave Grohl’s leg is basically the Bagpuss of the band. And that leaves Glasto with a hole at the top of its Friday night Pyramid Stage line-up. But worry not, work is already underway to fill that hole. Here are the options currently being considered behind the scenes…

1. Upgrade Florence And The Machine from second on the bill.
2. Book in Taylor Swift or The Strokes who are both in the UK this month. Hell, have them both.
3. Just assume Damon Albarn is on call again.
4. Swallow all pride and fly in McBusted.
5. Book Four Fighters “The UK’s Definitive Foo Fighters Tribute Band”.
6. Ask Kanye West to do an alternative ‘ITV Set’ (with no sound)
7. Find out what Hanson are up to.
8. Stage a ‘who can break their leg worse that Dave’ contest hosted by a heavily pregnant Fearne Cotton.
9. See if my Uncle Phil’s skiffle band is available.
10. Just go with a medley of songs from ‘Frozen’. It’s what you all really want anyway.

UPDATE 17 Jun 2015, 12.10: They went with option one. We can only assume Hanson weren’t available.



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