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Holy Moly and GigaOM close
By Andy Malt | Published on Wednesday 11 March 2015
Celebrity gossip website Holy Moly has announced that it is closing after thirteen years of being unnecessarily rude for larks. I feel I should balance this out by calling Olly Murs a cunt.
Announcing the news, staffer Tim Chipping wrote in a statement: “Holy Moly managed to keep doing pretty much exactly the same thing every day for thirteen years, which is just one year less than Westlife. But there is no key change for Holy Moly. No encore. And no awkward televised reunion that starts off emotional but ends with us shouting the words ‘mouthbreathing shit-eagle’ across a car park. For some reason a website dedicated to being needlessly unpleasant about Olly Murs is no longer financially viable. Go figure”.
Oh, well that’s particularly upsetting news. Now I’m conflicted. Maybe I should say that Olly Murs is lovely. Oh god, I’m so conflicted. “To all the celebs we’ve slagged off over the years, please take it personally”, added Chipping. “You are awful”.
Right, I think it’s best if I just don’t mention Olly Murs anymore. Let’s just move on to a farewell from founder Jamie East, who departed the website in 2013.
“It did some stupid things (as my lawyer’s bills testified) but also achieved things I will always be proud of”, East wrote on Medium. “Two Amazon #1 best-selling books, selling about 20,000 t-shirts saying ‘Jack Bauer wouldn’t stand for this shit’, having to explain Cunt’s Corner to the Leveson Enquiry, going on Richard & Judy wearing a balaclava, having Sinitta pour me a glass of wine whilst Simon Cowell slipped into the biggest bubble bath I’ve ever seen, winding up my tabloid counterparts on a weekly basis by catching them off guard with this new fangled ideal of not giving a shit about legals, making a shitload of incredible friends and, importantly, being a brilliant first place of employment for many, many incredibly talented people”.
Elsewhere in ‘online media operation operations suddenly closing’ news, tech site GigaOM promptly shut up shop on Monday, due to financial problems.
In a statement it admitted that the company “recently became unable to pay its creditors in full”. It continued: “As a result, the company is working with its creditors that have rights to all of the company’s assets as their collateral. All operations have ceased. We do not know at this time what the lenders intend to do with the assets or if there will be any future operations using those assets. The company does not currently intend to file bankruptcy”.
One of the site’s final articles was about the “broken” music business. So you should probably all take note.
