And Finally Artist News

Ed Sheeran too wet to record a Bond theme, says Ed Sheeran

By Chris Cooke | Published on Monday 15 December 2014

Given that Ed Sheeran is seemingly the biggest British popstar of the moment, I guess we ought to start being unnecessarily rude about him. Like really rude. I mean, if we want to be first to embrace the ‘backlash to the backlash’ in a year’s time, we need to help kick off the initial backlash now, right?

Though it’s not as easy as you might think. That Ed Sheeran, what a… erm, yeah, what a… I know, what a numpty. That’s as good as I’ve got. And I’ve been insulting popstars in the media since the 90s. I mean, you might not be a big fan of his music, but he has that irritating habit of always coming across as a down-to-earth really likeable kind of guy. Anyway, good news, I think, because here to start the Ed Sheeran dissing party is, well, Mr Ed Sheeran.

Asked by Digital Spy whether he’d like to record the theme song for the in-development James Bond film ‘Spectre’, Sheeran mused: “I am a James Bond fan, but I think the James Bond theme tune should be ballsy and I feel like if I was going to do it, it would sound a bit wet. I’d love to do a James Bond song but can you imagine it? I just wasn’t born with the James Bond voice. You never know, I’m not ruling it out. Maybe in ten years time when my balls drop it would improve”.

Saying he was more comfortable writing songs for ‘The Hobbit’ (which he did), he went on: “‘The Hobbit’ song was perfect for me to do because it’s quite folksy and rootsy and guitar-driven and a hairy short man should be singing a song about that. Whereas James Bond… I think Sam [Smith] is perfect for that, proper suited up, strong voice. I’m backing Sam but I think anyone from Sam to Paloma Faith, anyone who does the retro thing really, really fucking well should do it”.

Look at that – Ed Sheeran – such a nice popstar he has to start his own backlash. What a bastard. Oh look, I’m joining in now. Let the backlash begin!