And Finally Artist News Beef Of The Week

CMU Beef Of The Week #218: Vanilla Ice v Wiz Khalifa, Juicy J and Ty Dolla $ign

By | Published on Friday 8 August 2014

Vanilla Ice

Wooooooooah now. Yeah, that’s a pretty big rap beef isn’t it? Early 90s hair rapper Vanilla Ice taking on new guys Wiz Khalifa, Juicy J and Ty Dolla $ign. It must be something pretty important.

And it is. It is important. So important. It’s an issue that’ll divide more than just these guys I’m sure. So get ready to pick sides. Because Ice thinks that Wiz, J and Ty’s theme tune for the new ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ movie is “a little artificial”.

Sorry, I probably should have warned you I was going to do that. I hope you were sitting down.

Anyway, yes, let’s skip back a little. First, you should probably know that there’s a ‘reboot’ of the ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ franchise about to hit cinemas. To coincide with this, Wiz Khalifa, Juicy J and Ty Dolla $ign have recorded a track called ‘Shell Shocked’. Here it is:

So, there you go. It’s not the greatest thing ever recorded, but seems pretty well designed to maintain viewers’ excitement as the film’s credits roll. There’s an art to selecting music to make people think they just saw something good when they didn’t, and I reckon this can do the job.

But that leaves Vanilla Ice feeling a bit uneasy. Speaking to GQ, he said: “With respect to all of the artists, the song doesn’t really do it for me. It feels a little artificial. What I mean by that is that it sounds like a bunch of executives in the corporate world put it together. It really does not fit the theme of the Ninja Turtles legend. I think you have to understand, and be a true Ninja, to possess the magic to really pull off the secret sound”.

The track talks about fighting and pizza, so I’m not sure what’s not fitting the theme. But then I’m not the expert on this that Ice is. He, of course, not only acted in 1991’s ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze’, but also wrote and performed its theme song. Should I have mentioned earlier that his commentary on this matter wasn’t entirely random? I assumed you’d remember the classic ‘Ninja Rap’.

Oh well, refresh your memory now:

Oh yes indeed. That’s how you do a Ninja Turtles-themed rap. Nothing about that attempt to channel Morris Day & The Time feels at all corporate. Wiz and co are only in it for the money, but ‘Ninja Rap’ is purely about the art. He probably would have written this song anyway, even if he hadn’t been asked to do it by Hollywood.

So authentic is it, in fact, that he reprised it on his 2005 album, ‘Platinum Underground’. Yes, he released an album in 2005. What do you mean you didn’t know he was still making albums in 2005? Of course he was. He’s got a new album coming out this year too. That album will be released through Psychopathic Records, the label owned by Insane Clown Posse, who incidentally are namechecked on ‘Ninja Rap 2’:

Not only that, but this year Vanilla Ice became the face of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Ninja Turtle Shapes. FOR THE LOVE:

So, I think the lesson we’ve all learned here is that if you want a ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’-themed rap track, you should really ask Vanilla Ice to do it. Or at least tell him that you called a few times but no one answered.



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