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Blossoms launch helpline for fans fearing split

By | Published on Wednesday 21 February 2018


Blossoms have set up a helpline for fans concerned that the band are on the verge of splitting up. This follows rumours that the band are on the verge of splitting up. Possibly started by the band themselves.

Fans (or curious journalists) who ring 0808 281 2482 are met with a recorded message from guitarist Josh Dewhurst, informing them: “To be honest, I’ve been kept out of the loop on this one. Last to know, as per. C’est la vie. I’m probably not the best person to advise on this TBH. Not with my bloody nerves. Anyway, rest assured we have paid therapeutic professionals dealing with this fall out. One of them has been on ‘This Morning’ twice, and was booked on the Matthew Wright show but had to pull out cos of a dodgy belly”.

He adds: “I wanted to reassure you that it’s not over yet and I’m 50% sure it’ll be fine. All proceeds from this £10 a minute call will go to the relevant people. Hang on in there”.

There then follows a blast of what might be new music from the band, but just sounds like all music does when played over a phoneline. After which, another voice informs you that no professionals are available to speak to you, but that “it’s important to us that someone cool like you wants to get in touch”.

So that’s fine. In the run up to the launch of the helpline, frontman Tom Ogden drummer Joe Donovan have been squabbling on Twitter. On one occasion, Ogden referred to Donovan as “my backstabbing former bandmate”, which some people took as a sign of a split. Donovan responded by accusing Ogden of asking “his mum to buy him a special leather glove to eat pasties with after he burnt his thumb on a Greggs steak bake”.

Both appeared on the NME Awards red carpet together two days later though, with Ogden explaining: “It’s just one of them, isn’t it? When you spend hours and hours with someone on tour and every time someone has a drink, he fucking goes ‘ahhh’, every single fucking time. Do you know what I mean? When someone does that all the time, and they don’t stop doing it, it’s going to grind on you, isn’t it? Especially when you’ve known someone twelve years. He makes a clicking noise when he speaks as well, but I had to tell the manager to get him to stop doing that”.

Donovan added: “It is one of them, isn’t it? When your best mate from Stockport starts saying he’s from Cheshire, it just kind of changes things a little bit. He’s got these little nicknames as well. There was one of the other day, he called me ‘Wingo’. I think he was referring to Ringo Starr and how when I play drums my arms flap about a bit. Just little stuff like that, does my head in a little bit”.

Anyway, Blossoms have been working on their second album, so I think that’s what this is all about.