This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.
And Finally Artist News Live Business
Adele transported around in “sweaty” box before live shows
By Andy Malt | Published on Monday 13 March 2017
Adele is transported to the stage each night in a box on a trolley. Although this might seem to confirm the long touted rumours that she is actually a vampire, it is claimed the move is to stop her fans from passing out and shitting themselves at the sight of Adele making her way to the stage by foot.
The stage set up on the singer’s current tour means that the only route to her starting position is through the audience. Strolling through and jumping up on stage is apparently not considered a good way to begin. So instead, she spends several minutes locked in a hot flight case with only an iPad for company. Because that is obviously better.
She has said during these shows that her transportation to the stage each night makes her “so sweaty”, but added that she can’t divulge the secret of how she gets there until the end of the tour. Because of the fans passing out and shitting thing.
Though it’s probably not that hard to guess how it’s done. I mean, no fireball hits the stage shortly before the performance, and research shows that teleportation does not significantly raise core temperature in the human body.
Still, someone’s gone and blabbed to The Sun about the whole box on a trolley thing, ruining the mystery. “Adele sits in the box for several minutes as she is taken from her dressing room right to the centre of the crowd”, says the unnamed source. “Most of her fans are already seated and just presume it’s a piece of kit they are moving but some have been told by staff at venues that actually it’s their idol and a woman worth £85 million sitting in a pretty small box a few feet from them”.
Just to reiterate, they mean it’s Adele in there. Adele is the idol of Adele fans see, and Adele is also dead wealthy. Because if you’re a tabloid source and you’re trying to refer to Adele, obviously you’re going to do so by identifying her wealth.
“A few [fans] have worked it out as her personal security Peter Van Der Deer – who is never away from her side – accompanies the box during its journey”, they continue. “Then her team flank it as it reaches the stage and shield her from view as she climbs out and goes to wait underneath the stage for the start. Fans have been told she has an iPad in there to keep her entertained but it is a very sweaty and unglamorous part of the show for Adele to get through but she’s down to earth and jokes about it”.
Anyway, Adele still has a few tour dates to go in Australia and New Zealand, so this revelation has spoiled it all for them, hasn’t it? Maybe they could now stuff her in a rucksack to try to throw people off the scent. Presumably for the big finale shows at Wembley Stadium in June and July she’ll just parachute in every night. Or maybe she could move in below the stage and pop up to perform just after tea.
