Life is a journey. It will take you to many different places, afford you all manner of different experiences, and trigger a vast range of emotions. Yes indeed, life is a rich and varied journey.
But you know what else are journeys? Actual journeys, that’s what. And they can also bring you to new places, new experiences and new emotions. Especially when Will.i.am is involved. Well, that’s what he’s hoping with his latest venture as a successful tech entrepreneur.
What’s that? You didn’t realise he was a successful tech entrepreneur? Well what about that time he released a £200 iPhone case that turned your iPhone into - wait for it - a camera? Or his smartwatch? No? OK, what about his other smartwatch?
Right, just because you don’t know anyone who ever bought one of those things doesn’t mean they weren’t successful. I mean, if Will.i.am isn’t a massively successful tech entrepreneur, why would Mercedes have hired him to build its new car stereos? Yeah, that’s right, it wouldn’t. Almost certainly not.
I don’t know actually, but the news here is that Mercedes has indeed hired Will.i.am to come up with a new kind of car stereo. Because you know what you really want to hear when you’re driving? No, not a playlist of your favourite songs, you want the car to generate its own interactive soundtrack thought up by Will.i.am.
Launched at the CES tech conference in Las Vegas this week, MBUX Sound Drive is set to begin rolling out in new Mercedes cars around the middle of this year. It will use “a suite of sensors and advanced software” to interpret “various driving dynamics - such as recuperation, acceleration, steering and braking” and then convert them into “musical expressions, allowing the driver to 'compose' in real-time”.Road rage never sounded so good. This is all, a press release insists, going to turn your car into “a virtual musical instrument” making every drive “an emotional, musical journey”. Because we all know that the best answer to the question “how was your drive?” is always “emotional”.
Talking all this up himself, Will.i.am says: “Imagine a world where your car can become an instrument creating musical journeys. MBUX Sound Drive enhances driving and sound technology, letting motorists reshape music just by driving”.
“I'm excited to see how composers, producers and songwriters will harness this to create new works and reimagine classics for motorists to drive to”, he adds. “MBUX Sound Drive is not only a new frontier for music creation, but also opens up fresh, exciting and interactive listening experiences for drivers”.
And if you want to hear more about this from the man himself, you can watch him present it all as a nursery rhyme here.
Anyway, once we’ve got ourselves a car that will play us music to match how we’re driving, where are we going to go? Well, how about the new museum celebrating the life and achievements of James Blunt that has opened in Herefordshire? Situated in a disused phone box in the village of Urishay, it contains a wealth of enlightening information about the star.
We’ve learned that he “used to be in the army but left because he didn’t like it” and that he is not actually related to actor Emily Blunt.
Alerting his fans to its existence, Blunt (James) tweeted: “Completely forgot to announce the opening of this fantastic cultural experience in glorious Herefordshire. Free entry for both my fans”.
But in this day and age, it’s online recommendations that really drive the crowds to cultural institutions such as this. Gotta get those reviews in. And to lend a helping hand, the BBC went out to find out more. Unfortunately, the reporter didn’t find anyone who’d actually been into the museum or even had much interest in it.
"I'll drive past it but that's as far as it goes”, said the landlady of a nearby pub, Karen Miller.
Offering a little more enthusiasm was local resident Jedda (just Jedda), who said: "It's not very far, I might as well take a look”.
There you go, I think we can safely say that the village of Urishay has been whipped up into a frenzy. And surely the boom in tourism this will bring will be a massive boost to the local economy. Bonus points for anyone who notices that one of the pictures of Blunt in the museum/phone box is actually Sharleen Spiteri.
So, I think we’ve got the new experiences that a literal journey can bring you, but what about life in general? That more figurative journey will take many strange and unexpected turns. Like, maybe one day you’re sitting around just getting one with whatever it is you do when you decide, actually, you’d quite like to go and study one of your key interests at an academic level.
In the case of Lil Nas X, one of his key interests is upsetting Christians. It’s basically his job now. In the past he’s upset them with shoes and a music video - not to mention the expert level trolling that accompanied both. This week he’s back at it with a whole song.
Out today, Nas announced new single ‘J Christ’ earlier this week, proclaiming on Twitter that it is “dedicated to the man who had the greatest comeback of all time”. He also shared the track’s artwork, which features himself being hoisted up on a crucifix.
What happened next was exactly what you would expect. Lots of people shouting into the social media void. But was this all that it seemed? Was this Lil Nas X intentionally whipping up controversy in order to promote a new single? Even a cursory look at his past history would suggest yes. But perhaps not, in this case.
I mean, what if - hear me out - what if Lil Nas X’s big interest was not upsetting Christians for financial gain, but actually deeply studying and challenging Christian teachings as part of his own spiritual and intellectual journey?
Responding to criticism of his track announcement, he claimed that the new song was a genuine celebration of Christ and the Christian religion. In fact, he revealed later in the week, he has been accepted onto a degree course in Christian Leadership and Biblical Studies at the evangelical institution that is Liberty University.
Sharing a picture of his acceptance letter - addressed to Montero Hill, his real name - he added on Instagram: “Not everything is a troll!”
That’s true. Not everything is a troll. When I tied my shoelaces this morning - not a troll. When Moses came down from the mountain - not a troll. This? Well, it does look a bit troll-y.
While many took the letter at face value, Billboard did think to quickly ask Liberty University about its validity. A spokesperson responded: “We can confirm that Liberty University did not issue the Montero Hill ‘acceptance letter’ posted yesterday to social media, and we have no record of Montero Hill applying to the university”.
Anyway, the song is out now. It is accompanied by a video in which Lil Nas X - dressed as the titular J Christ - plays basketball with the devil. And whatever you think of that, you will have to admit that the track is pretty great.
Elsewhere in our journey to find this week’s funniest and strangest stories from the music world, we also stumbled across these…
Roisin O’Connor
Jon Blistein
Greg Kennelty
Paul Brannigan